Saturday, February 26, 2011

Featured Fics this week on TLS:

MANY THANKS TO OUR GUEST REVIEWERS LaMoMo and Nicole this week, thank you so much for your time.
Tunes with Tony Masen by Just4ALE       

Summary: Our late night calls were fascinating. His attitude in person was frustrating. Stupid radio host with the velvety, seductive voice. Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde? Will the real Tony Masen please stand up?

Bella analyses data for a living, and lives to decode enigmas. Puzzles, codes, crosswords, trivia, you name it. She solves it. Her mind can break down everything and see relations and associations where the human eye can't even begin to fathom them. Her past is a secret that she can't share, and there are broken bridges that she can't and won't mend and that she keeps running away from. The other passion in her life is music. 70's music, if you please. Not disco, not the 80's. Let's stick to the serious stuff, the connoisseur stuff. There's a connoisseur above all others in San Francisco, and it's Tony Masen, the DJ hosting Tunes with Tony Masen every night on KFOG radio. 
What do Tony and Bella have in common? Music, for starters. They are both connoisseurs and they are both very picky with their tastes. Quizzes are a close second. Tony asks quizzes about music trivia on his show, and the sheer difficulty makes them accessible to "only the brave". Bella is one of the "brave", though Tony knows her as "Izzy". She is a regular caller, and she regularly gets the answers to Tony's unbelievably complicated and mysterious music trivia. They talk. A lot. On-air. Off-air. But is this real? Is there a connection, a relation, an association, as in Bella's puzzles?
There is. On a deeper level. Be prepared to follow them, and investigate.
The story will get you riveted. Tony's voice will mesmerise you. The plot will leave you hanging like a Sherlock Holmes mystery and will make you jump on your seat like The Fugitive. You will get mad when you don't get the answers to the trivia or the movie references. 
You will be completely floored when you discover what Alice's profession - REAL profession - is.
Be warned. And now run to read it....and Run Through The Jungle with Izzy and Tony (and, by the way, Just4ALE - why isn't there YET a chapter on Creedence Clearwater Revival????)
Summary: He wanted to be the most powerful man on earth. As far as she was concerned, he already was. Love. Longing. A decade of regret. Time changes nothing...or does it?
What if your first love that broke your heart ended up being a very powerful political figure?
What if you flew home to spend Thanksgiving with old friends and your true love ended up seated
beside you on that flight, where you could not escape? In Sleepy Valentina's FALL TO RUIN ONE DAY, Bella Swan fell in love with Edward Cullen in college. His political aspirations & lifestyle tore
them apart until he ends up next to her on a flight home for the holidays. Bella finds out for
herself that her heart, nor his, has ever healed. The question is will they get another chance at
happily ever after? I am completely owned by stories of True Love Never Fails like this one is.
If you love romance at all, you want to read this story.
Summary: Bella is captured by Vikings and brought with them to their home
country where her new fate awaits. Can she ever find happiness being a slave?
Will it make a difference that she is given to Edward to be his bed thrall?
Rated M for old time lemons.
Sheviking doesn't really need introductions. If you haven't read The Education of Professor Cullen or The Blizzard, you're either living under a rock, or missing a few essential staples in your general Twilight Fanfic Education.
This latest endeavour of hers, however, is a completely different mix. It's a period fic - where Edward, renamed Edvard for the occasion, and the rest of the usual suspect have stepped back in time a few centuries and transported into the savage, merciless, godless and ruthless civilisation of Vikings.
Truefacts? To our Isabella (an Englishwoman kidnapped from English shores during a Viking raid) these are true facts, they are the very tenets of her beliefs regarding this alien, warlike and fierce race. And her attitude stems from those beliefs from the very moment she crashes into Edvard's life as his serf, more specifically, as his new bed thrall.
It's a story of a bitter cultural crash, with two civilisation moudls that are as deep-rooted as they can be, and as such they are taken for granted by either Edvard and Isabella. It's a story of conflicted feelings and loyalties. It's a story, beautifully written and with a very clever and respectful "localisation" of our beloved canon characters that does not betray the essence of the characters as we know them but, on the contrary, enhances some of their most appreciated and cherished traits - Edvard's intense feelings, his protective instincts, his absolute belief in Bella on one hand, and Bella's inner strength, her ability to adapt to circumstances, her learning experience as she finds herself on alien shores.
It is hard to believe that this story started out in jest as a one-shot, out of a very funny and hot "what if" conversation where a group of fanfic addicts lamented the absence of a Viking Edward. Sheviking all too willingly rose to the occasion, and gave us this latest gem, concocting a bewitching, scorchingly hot story, even through the long and stressful last months of her pregnancy. Now that she has been safely and blissfully delivered of a healthy, beautiful Baby Viking Boy, join us in congratulating her and the rest of the Viking family, as we (not so) patiently wait for more. 

Here I am

Summary: Soon-to-be college senior needs a summer job. Edward Cullen needs a worker for his new tasting room at Cullen Creek Brewery. She doesn't know much about beer, but she knows how to push his buttons.

Unusual fanfic location? Check. This story takes us to Burlington, Vermont. The usual suspects work together, but are not corporate moghuls? Check. The Cullen brothers and Jasper have a brewery, Cullen Creek. An usual, mysterious, fascinating Bella? Check. She is a vet student, independent, sassy, and sweet at the same time.
A slightly older, absolutely conflicted, self-berating, brooding and Edward? Check. He's going through a rough divorce, so we don't (or we do? watch out on this) have to worry about Tanya and he's fighting against time so that the brewery will make the grand opening day with a splash.  Our most beloved star-crossed lovers are faced with conflict and impediments? Check. Bella is Edward's employee, thanks to Emmett's snap decisions.

This story flows smoothly and effortlessly through its verbal humour, the charming setting of a New England summer, the constant banter and comedy of errors of a sassy, sarcastic and slightly secretive Bella that integrates very quickly in the mostly masculine staff of the brewery, much to Edward's continued and ill-contained chagrin.
The added allure and mystery of all this is that the author, of Cullen Sutras fame, has wisely and wickedly (for us poor readers) chosen to stick to one point of view up to now, and we are herded along the story through Edward's sometimes (often) warped perception of things, as he strings us along his barely contained hormones, his gradual realisation of a marriage that was never there to begin with, and his continued fascination with the multi-faceted, riveting canvas that is Bella's mind and heart.
Those who are also fond of the Cullen power couple, aka Esme and Carlisle, will be happy to hear that this story offers a very unsual, but highly entertaining Doctor Cullen. 
A sip of beer at a time (with recommendations, and a whole lot of to-the-point and well-informed research on the matter), the reader can't but drink this all in, and remains thirsty, waiting for more.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Meet this weeks Poll Nominees

Thankful by Sydney Alice
She had always been my drug of choice, and tonight, I would get my very last fix. She loved me, and I loved her. Sometimes love just wasn't enough.

The Greatest Gift by les_16
Edward Cullen has the plane ride of his life when a mysterious flight companion changes his life in the blink of an eye. Edward will need the help of his wife, Isabella, to right the wrongs of his past before it's too late.

Finger Painting by FarDareisMai2
Alice drags her brother Edward to an art show, intent on introducing him to her friend. Instead, Edward meets an intriguing painter, who takes the exploration of colors to a whole new level. AH and rated M for a reason folks.

Be My Sub by nails233
After searching for a century,I have found what I have been looking for,a human submissive.The fact that I'm a vampire and she's my singer,will not deter me from having the only thing I have ever wanted more than human blood,her body. D/S BDSM EPOV 18

Twilight Online Dating by butterflybetty and Ms. Misty Cullen
He showed her how to live, she taught him how to love... And together they started the adventure of their lives. AH & MA. Cannon Pairing. Co-Written with Ms. Misty Cullen

Seven Day Weekend by JandMsMommy
They were young, in love...and they raised hell for seven days. AH, E/B, Very OOC, lemons, Promised HEA

The Phantoms Scars by savannahvansmutsmut
First officer Edward finds a scared broken girl and does everything in his power to help her. Running for your life sometimes means fighting for the courage to actually let yourself live. This story is all EPOV Rated M for a reason, no rape scenes.

The Companion by Sam Rosey
Need. Want. Desire. Bella thinks the best way to fulfill these things is to become a Companion. 'A guild of professional courtesans/entertainers.' A girl with a big heart, she craves it all but she's impatient, ready to play. AH. Edward and Bella.

Angel in the Attic by closettwilighter1
What if Alice saw Bella coming? What if Edward was waiting for her knowing she belonged to him? What he is, isn't the only thing Edward is hiding. Complete

Doctors Orders by mybluesky
Nurse Swan vows to never date a doctor, presuming them all to be egotistical jerks. But will she change her mind when she starts a new job and meets the handsome Dr. Cullen, or will his advances only strengthen her resolve? AH, OOC, Rated M

Four Summers by Bratty-Vamp
Sun, surf and sand. Best friends, and best kisses. Broken hearts, broken ties, and dreams that can never be broken. A bounce through time. Every road we travel leads us to exactly where we are meant to be.

My Escort by Bratty-Vamp
When Edward's partial scholarship gets taken away, he reluctantly takes the advice of his roommate and gets a job at a high-class escort agency. Relax... it's a legit company. He's got nothing to lose. Or does he? All-human, OOC.
We Used to be a Love Story by GiveUsAKiss413
500 word chapters, out of sequence. They used to be a love story. Edward/Bella, from childhood to children, they were something special. M for vices. cynicism and losing everything and probably some sex. Angst. Make a story out of this. They were love.

Mens Rea: A Guilty Mind by forbidden-fruit81
Edward Cullen is accused of murder for the slaying of his girlfriend. No one dares take on his case, until defense attorney Isabella Swan, that is. Edward proves to be a difficult client & the biggest challenge of her young but promising career.

See You Again by Mrs. Robward
An Edward and Bella love story wrote in cute lil' chapters prompted with the daily Fictionista Wit Fits. Their life is busy with college, family, and work,-but true love trumps all.. right? AH, M

Dead Confederates by goldenmeadow
Sultry, scary Southern Gothic. A good ol' vamp with bad intentions, Eddie lives large as ever on the down-low, down South. Always under his sexy skin, Bella's just sass in a frosty glass. Bubba moons for Miss Rose, Junior is Alice's freak-on-a-leash. AU/M

It's Just Lunch by TG81
He's a cocky man-whoring movie star. She's a media heiress engaged to another man. When Bella is in town finalizing her wedding plans she meets one of the men on her "Top 5." Rated M for a reason, very OOC.

B Swans Auto Shop by AriCullen1134
To whom it may concern my name is Bella Swan. I'm a 21 year old born again virgin.I have mommy issues and a bad attitude! Sorry summary sucks. Story is better! If bad language and sex offends you please don't read. Rated M for reasons!

Pure Morning by eyesopenwide
A friend in need's a friend indeed, a friend with weed is better. Bella is sent to boarding school in Forks, expecting only boredom in the sleepy town. However, the friends she meets there are all but boring. AH OOC Rated M for language and future lemons.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Lemon Drops for February 23, 2011

Happy Hump Day, everyone! Sometimes, it doesn’t take a whole story to get you in the mood, just a one-shot can do the trick. Here are some outstanding one shots to get you over that mid-week hump and rev you up for the weekend ahead. Hope you enjoy them! As Always, I have a Jasper fic up first!

Camels and Cloves by Chicklette
It's not what they say, it's what they whisper: New girl Isabella Swan has heard nothing good about Jasper Whitlock. So why can't she stay away from him? Are the rumors true? AH/OOC M- drink/drugs/sex. "For the Love of Jasper" Contest.

Bittersweet by CullenLovingMom
O/S written for the "To Kill a Cullen Contest." Alice Cullen is a force of life. Her death wreaks havoc in the lives of those left behind. Her best friend and her brother cope with her death together and find love for each other in the process. AU/AH.

Dirty Your Boots by SweetDulcinea
Falling for a cowboy is easy; letting him go is the hard part. When Bella's dreams aren't fulfilled, she believes love isn't enough anymore. Heartbroken, Jasper perseveres with his plan, holding onto the hope he can eventually prove his unending devotion.

Quoting Frost by QuantumFizzx
Edward wants to be the kind of person he thinks Bella deserves. Everything goes wrong. This was intended to be a Black Balloon contest entry, but I couldn't upload it in time. No HEA. One-shot in EPOV. History of my story "The Blessing Ring"

My Best Friend's Girlfriend by Chicklette
A holidayish o/s based on one of the Love Actually plots. Jasper/Bella. No Alice or Edward.

Rec’d to us in theFaceBook group by Memphis Lamb
In Your Eyes by 107yearoldvirgin

Check them out and enjoy! Make sure you come back and tell me what you loved or what you hated. Don’t forget to drop by our group on FB and say hi! If you have a rec for an awesome one shot you think needs more exposure, share it with us!

Also, there is only a couple days left to vote in the Dirty Talking Jasper contest. Check out the great stories on there and vote for your fav! Until next week, SMOOCHES!

Sunday, February 20, 2011



If you haven't seen this movie yet, you are missing fantastic previews for upcoming movies Sucker Punch,  Fast Five, and  Real Steel that I'm equally thrilled about, Alex Pettyfer's handsome face and beautiful body, a great soundtrack, cool storyline and an action packed ending that will have you moving in your seat. I enjoyed I am Number Four from beginning to end and the few cliche scenes I observed were certainly made up for with the action, the beast fight and the ending which was left wide open for a sequel(s). This movie gets a 5 lemon rating from moi.

When a stalker gets too close to rockstar Izzy Dwyer, she makes a choice that brings her back to her hometown and leads her on a journey full of new love and friendships.

The same author that gave us the famous fic "Parachute" has once again presented us with another quality fic. This fic has such an original storyline that it will refresh you from the top. The end of this first chapter left me yearning for more and excited for what's to come. I have a soft spot for Emmett and he seems to play an important character in this one so I was sold from the start. You can find this fic in the nursery section, it was just born a few days ago, and I've already stamped it with the TLS seal of approval to guarantee you won't be let down, so go......
Take a peek at KitsuShels new baby.
You'll fall in love just like I did.

Dirty talking Edward Masen convinces amateur novelist, Bella Swan,
 that all she needs to become a good writer is a little more 'research' on her subject matter.
Eleven years of history won't make it weird.
After all, it's For Authentication Purposes. AH/ExB/M
I can't believe we don't have to pay for 107's stuff, it's that good. If you haven't read any virgy fics, do yourself a favor and get acquainted here. She always delivers quality material and is a staple to twilight fan fiction. I enjoy how 107 puts me in the drivers seat with her writing. I always feel like I'm right there in the story. This story involves a doucheward that makes me smile and giggle as he amusingly solicits reactions from our beloved Bella, who is not amused by him in the least. I'm a sucker for the opposing Bellas and Edwards. This fic already has a TLS seal of approval to guarantee that you will love it just as much as I did and it's FRESH off of the brand new fic rack.
Get you some!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Have a Lemon Drop - One Shot Wednesday recs are served!

Different by blueandblack
A look at Jacob and Bella's relationship after she becomes a vampire. Inspired by this quote: Men in rage strike those that wish them best, Othello, Act 2, Sc 3
This is poetic fiction in twifashion like no other. This story is only 315 words and its beautiful. It's DIFFERENT which is so refreshing. Tell her PAWsPeaches sent you

The following one shot is an entry into the DirtyBJH00r Contest that I loved. You can vote for it here. This one shot had me thinking I was reading S. Meyers characters 75% of the way through, due to the authors ability to express those characteristics so well. Then the lemon came. There was definitely no mistaking the characters once the lemons started squirting. Two words. Great Lemon.
Of Reflections and Orgasms by Anonymous
Edward and Bella are running late. Edward is desperately turned on. Will he give in to his lust filled emotions or keep them to himself? M for Lemons. A o/s entry for the "Do you have what it takes to be a Dirty BJH00r?" Contest!

This is Love by emilyg80 
"Bella, the lights are only part of your present. See over there? Look down. In the snow." Their story, told through footprints in the snow. Joy, laughter and a love that transcends all obstacles.

This is an absolutely stunning one shot by the lovely emilyg80 (who also co-writes Pigtails, one of my previous rec's). It makes me cry just thinking about it. I'm the biggest wuss perv around, but even I can appreciate a beautiful story such as this. You won't regret reading this, trust. - Trixie Traci
 rec'd by Trixie Traci

Realized by hot101
This isn't something you can just patch up and fix.God Bella I'm in love with you!"-One-shot.AH.Best friends who fall in love is always the just happened to fall before the other.
-rec'd by busymommy

Prairie Fire by stillwaters72
What happens when a new girl walks into a small town bar? Cue balls, teasing and booze. What happens in the cab of a truck stays in the cab of a truck. Will Bella remember her blue panties? A o/s with a story in the making. EPOV AH Rated M for a reason
-rec'd by busymommy

Closets and Love Notes by Aisling-91
Oneshot: When Alice makes Bella try and find a box at her brothers appartment, Bella realizes her long time secret love - Edward Cullen - may share the same feelings towards her. Fluff lemon, AH.
- rec'd by busymommy


Inscrutable by Anonymous
Edward's roommate thought he knew him pretty well, but Jasper brings out a side of him that no one would have expected.
 -rec'd by busymommy

Let Your Fingers Do The Talking by Anonymous
A humdrum day at the office is much more exciting with a series of sex texts from a mysterious stranger.
rec'd by SarahmcSlutslut

Home by Anonymous
A locked box, a silky voice on the phone, a beautiful stranger in a photograph. Edward thinks he just has a place to live, but maybe this time he is home.
rec'd by busymommy

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Meet the Poll - Recommended fics for the week of 2/15 - 2/22/2011

Bella Swan is a Hollywood starlet with a plan to ridicule the Oscars ceremony. However, a busted ankle, a night with the most egotistical ass in the business and a litter of kittens were not a part of that plan. Life doesn't always go to plan.

My eyes went wide. He was about to show me his-. "Let me see it baby," I moaned, ready for it. He smiled and pulled out a gun. "See?" I screamed, falling from his lap, and landing in the garbage that fills my living room. AH. *Rated M* Language/Lemons

AH/AU E&BPOV "Hands off my junk and don't you dare flirt with me, at least not without first letting me . . ." Well, you get the idea. ExB almost exclusively doing fluffy, sexy stuff as they deal with an unexpected living arrangement. Lemons/language.

A/U All human.Edward is a cold career Doctor who's personal life is non existent. Bella is the fun and flighty new attending who turns his world upside down. Edward struggles with accepting change...can he?

After one horny night alone with a webcam, Edward enters a surprisingly intimate friendship with a stranger online. He someday plans to meet this ‘Jazz’ girl he’s become so oddly enraptured with; too bad Jazz isn’t exactly a ‘girl’.
Bella thinks she finally has it all together after a life altering accident, but when she meets Edward, a once successful artist who has lost his inspiration, everything she thought she knew changes.  Rated NC-17 for a very good reason.

Edward Cullen was branded a geek and bullied every day of his life. Bella Swan was always awkward, never quite knowing where she fit in. Together they learn a bit about themselves and each other. Will they discover love as well? E/B

What was the real story behind Jasper's almost-attack on Bella at the birthday party? And what does it have to do with a mysterious history project? Bella & Jasper eventually, with plenty of Darkward thrown in for good measure. M for language.

Twenty yr old Bella is happy doing what she loves most, dancing and cooking, she's had heartbreak and is now content being on her own. Why won't thirty-three yr old Edward,who wants her for his mistress, take no for an answer? Lots of lemons and tears.

Soon-to-be college senior Bella Swan needs a summer job. Edward Cullen needs a worker for his new tasting room at Cullen Creek Brewery. She doesn't know much about beer, but she knows how to push his buttons. Romance/Humor, ExB, M for Lemons/Language

When Bella meets Edward, they share one memorable night in a club. Although she hopes to see him again, when she does, it's in the place neither of them expected. Rated M for language and yummy lemons ahead

AH/AU ExB Lemon. Mid-Semester, Senior Year. Bella is escaping Arizona and starting over in Washington. An unexpected hook-up at a party in Port Angeles turns into obsession. What happens when desire becomes too much to control? Rated S for Snarling.

Tunes with Tony Masen by Just4ALE
Our late night calls were fascinating. His attitude in person was frustrating. Stupid radio host with the velvety, seductive voice. Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde? Will the real Tony Masen please stand up? AH. M for language and lemonade.
He wanted to be the most powerful man on earth. As far as she was concerned, he already was. Love. Longing. A decade of regret. Time changes nothing...or does it?
Bella lives a life without passion. Passion is the only thing Edward has.
One love. One destiny. Can you change what's meant to be? Sort of AU and OOC. NOT related to Rob's movie of the same title.
My Viking by sheviking
Bella is captured by Vikings and brought with them to their home country where her new fate awaits. Can she ever find happiness being a slave? Will it make a difference that she is given to Edward to be his bed thrall? Rated M for old time lemons.

Fics of the week 2/14/ - 2/21/2011


Taking Chances by butterflybetty
Singe mom, Bella, and single dad, Edward, meet as their boys start school. Their boys become fast friends but will Edward and Bella? Or will they become more than friends? AH&MA for language and possible lemons.

Despite the fact that butterflybetty’s fic, Taking Chances was already on my radar, I have to confess that I had not been reading it. I rectified that today. My goal was to skim a couple chapters, get a feel for it, and be able to give a competent review. Instead, I read all 34 posted chapters and am dying for moreTaking Chances is about a single mom, Bella, and a widower father, Edward, who both have 5 year old boys that are in the same kindergarten class. That would be a rough synopsis. In truth, I see this as a story of hope, love, and family. Bella and Edward fall in love through friendship, and are finding a way to blend their lives in a way that doesn’t leave anyone behind, most especially the two little boys they have been raising alone up until now. I loved every minute I have spent reading this and cannot wait for more. Check her out and show her much love. Tell her busymommy and The Lemonade Stand sent you!  - busymommy

Beautiful Stranger by NJNYTwigals
Newly divorced and single mom Bella decides it's time to let loose and have some fun at her friend's Halloween party. After an encounter with an alluring stranger, Bella's life turns upside down. AH-Cannon Couples. A one-shot turned multi-chapter

Beautiful stranger is a must read. Its a relationship built one year after a one night stand between edward and bella only they don't know each others name.
-Bobby Dupea Cullen aka @tropicnebula
Holly and Pauline are the two women that make up NJNYTwigals. They are two very talented, sweet women who have written four stories. I'm quite jealous of these two for two reasons. They met THE PRETTY. Reason number two: They took a picture with the pretty. Read all about their Robventure on their ffn profile and see the pic they took with the pretty.
He gave me art and words and passion and life, but all I wanted was him.

 I am thoroughly addicted to The Art Teacher and well, anything Spanglemaker writes. This story helps you recall your very first crush & first love on the most basic level. It grabs your heart and doesn't let go.
Bella is a high school senior bored with her upper class lifestyle and forced into an art class by her snobbish mother. She meets the teacher, Edward, and completely falls head over heels for him & for the beauty within Art. He is scared of his attraction to her & disappears for a time, but returns when she is older & engaged to another man. The E/B UST & attraction are absolutely palpable and make this part of the "MUST READ". You simply MUST.

Friday, February 11, 2011


Today we have recommendations from Trixie Traci and fiftyownsme. I've heard some buzz about both of these stories, so I was excited to see these recs in my box.

Don't Stand So Close to Me by Elyse Gaines 
When Bella meets Edward, they share one memorable night in a club.Although she hopes to see him again, when she does, it's in the place neither of them expected. Rated M for language and yummy lemons ahead
As you may remember from the last time, my fave fics are older Edward / younger Bella. I'm a pedo, what of it? This one is fantastic!
Flawlessly written, this story contains lovable characters and plenty of the lemonade that we all love so much, plus, she updates pretty frequently. Tell her I sent you (I might get extra teasers if you do. lol)!

Trixie Traci

The Best Part Of Me Was You by justagirl1238
Childhood friends...Teenage Lovers...One huge mistake. Can these soul mates find their way back to each other or will they need to accept that some betrayals cannot be overcome?

One Word. Awesome. Go leave her some love, tell her fiftyownsme sent you.


I took a minute to read the opening paragraphs of each of these (I immediately know whether I will be compatible with a fic upon opening paragraph) and I can say that both of these are sour face free.

I'm referring to the face you make when a friend recs a story and you click the link and about three sentences into it, you squint your eyes, smirk your lips and your eyebrows form this sarcastic arch. All of those motions move in unison to express a look of What the eff is this sh*$?  Sour face free guys.

In other news, I saw this on the twittah yesterday and it elicited extreme excitement from me.
My bestie and I went to see a movie last week and I saw the trailer for WFE for the first time. You can imagine my surprise when it began to play, being that I've purposely stayed away from the youtube clips for the sole purpose of not falling to pieces with undesirable amounts of lust and ravenous need for more footage.
As we watched the trailer on the big screen, the two of us immediately turned into idiots.

We were both squirming around like 6 year olds, nudging each other with our elbows with each flicker of the pretty and grabbing each others arms to swoon. 
We each had a hand covering our mouth to prevent our uncontrolled moans and squees from leaking to the other audience members that surely would have thought we were both in need of counseling had they spotted our behavior.
I just want to express to all of you, my concerns about this.  I can't even control my bodily functions while watching this trailer, how am I supposed to control myself during the premiers of WFE, Bel Ami and Breaking Dawn?
 I feel that a "How to keep your composure" class is needed.
Another concern of mine : Do I really want to worry about keeping control?
Should I just wait until the day after release and find a deserted theater?

After typing that last sentence, I realized that waiting just won't be possible. Which brings me back to the need for self control and composure when It comes to the Pattz.

I hope you all enjoy the recs for today, have a great day and enjoy your weekend- PAWs

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Lemon Drops for February 9, 2011

Lemon Drops
Happy Hump Day, everyone! Sometimes, it doesn’t take a whole story to get you in the mood, just a one-shot can do the trick. Here are some outstanding one shots to get you over that mid-week hump and rev you up for the weekend ahead. Hope you enjoy them!
Edward has grown to adulthood as the only child of a farming family. Hoping to earn extra money, he travels to the city each day, ultimately finding more than he bargained for within one of the mansions of affluent Chicago. AU, B&E, explicit lemons.
Outstanding one shot!! Fantasy’s depth of character is one rarely found in a one shot and she throws in a nice little twist at the end.
This was a one shot bought for the Support Stacie charity auction. It is hauntingly beautiful and I, sap that I am, cried like a fiend as I finished it. I am not going to tell you anymore than that, just give it a read. I am sure you will not be disappointed!!
Bella's sixteenth birthday is made perfect by a kiss from a beautiful boy, but then she doesn't see him again for three years. Does he even remember her?
Surfers and secret kisses! How could I not be sold on this one? Someone rec’d this to a friend for a list she was compiling of Summer-themed fictions. Being the nosy h00ker I am, I snagged the link. My curiosity paid off once again!
Cougar Revolution One-Shot Contest WINNER! Too many drinks lead
43-year old Bella Swan to an anonymous, one-night stand with a hot young
stranger. When her mystery man becomes her new boss, can she resist the
sizzling attraction drawing them together?
Alright, as a self-confessed cougar, I HAD to read this one and I am planning to dig up more from this contest in the near future!!! TKegl writes amazing one shots full of great descriptions and HAWT sex. This little story is no different! This little excerpt is enough reason to read:
“I refused to call it the Walk of Shame.
It was the Walk of I-Got-Three-Orgasms-Last-Night-Motherfuckers.”
Winner of Love Through Lemons contest. When Bella thinks Edward is attracted to another woman, how can he show her she is all he wants? AH/OOC. Lemony goodness.
After Bella and Edward attend a business dinner, where Edward is ogled by the wife of the client., Bella is left feeling insecure and inadequate. Edward proceeds to show her, through a HAWT lovemaking session, exactly how desirable he finds her. This may require a shower afterwards.
So, there you go! A quintet of amazing fics to get you over your midweek slump! I’ll be back next week with another batch to keep you going! If you have any favorites, rec them to me here or on The Lemonade Stand Facebook group. I’ll be more than happy to check them out and pass them on! ‘Til next week~ Don’t forget, sometimes, all it takes is just one shot! SMOOCHES!

Monday, February 7, 2011

The Fantastic Four - Winners for Fics of the Week

You voted and here are the winners for fics of the week 2/7 - 2/13/2011

Jasper is a surf bum trying to escape his past, Bella is a graduate student trying to find her future. Will a chance meeting during a surf tournament pull them under for the last time? AH/AU/non-Canon/ rated M for lemons, language, themes

"Did you just get vagina slapped by a stripper Edward?" What happens when a man-eating handmodel named Bella and Edward, an asshole who's bored w/vagina meet in Las Vegas? Continuation based on entry for the Twi-Hards First o/s Contest - AH/OOC Lemons

When a knight from another kingdom wins his choice of bride, he claims the handmaid instead of the princess. Isabella finds herself married and tossed into the middle of political schemes. What happens when she can't give him the one thing he must have?
check out Savage's blog here

Recovering from a serious illness, Edward knows what it is to be invisible but obvious to everyone around him. Bella, who has watched a loved one die of protracted illness, understands the tightrope-act of life on the edge. Full summary inside.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Fics turned Paperback and Beauty Products I adore

It's exciting when I hear that one of my favorite fics will be published. Even if I don't plan on ever doing a re-read of a favorite fic of mine I still would like to own a paperback or hardback copy of ALL of my favorite fics.  If you are interested in finding published fics you can click here  to find all the published fandom you need.

I have three beauty product recs tonight. 

MAC plushglass lipgloss in "Nice Buzz"
I cant say enough about this lip gloss. It makes a fantastic nude lip and goes great with a smoky eye or the natural look. It doesn't have a superb stay factor but the look, feel and hard to find color make this product well worth my $13 bucks. You can find it at any MAC counter.

Redken Blonde Glam Pure Pearl Conditioner
I've had a hard time getting my fingers through my hair, after shampooing, for the longest time now. I can't tell you how frustrating it is to run out of my favorite products and waste money on crap that claims to be amazing but just doesn't work. This Redken product is ideal if you're a blonde with medium to long hair. It only takes a nickel size spot to slide your fingers through after washing.  If you aren't a blonde, no fear, Biolage hydrating conditioner is remarkable and will give you the same silky results for around the same price of $18.00. 

Almay liquid eyeliner in black noir
This eyeliner is so amazing that I would put a guarantee on it myself.  If you prefer a dark, shiny, liquid eyeliner, that doesn't smudge and stays put from morning 'til night, then you've found your ideal product in Almay's black noir liquid eyeliner. For three years I have applied this product at 7:30 am and it stays put until I remove it before bed. I love it. Do yourself a favor and skip the $32.00 designer liquid liners and shell out a sweet $8.00 for this one at any Wal-mart, Target, CVS or Walgreens instead. It is superb.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Fic Friendly Recipe

Okay, so I read a really cool one shot yesterday that was submitted anonymously (rules) to the Dirty BJ Hoor Contest. It brought back so many memories of my youth and I couldn't help but remember the "tutor" that I was lucky enough to have when I was younger. Do yourself a favor and find out what it was like for Bella to give her first blow job in Guinea Pig

If you're like me, you have a husband and children to take care of on top of caring for a fic-addiction. Since I started reading fanfiction I don't like to spend alot of time cooking. I prefer quick, easy recipes. Therefore, I have decided to share a SUPER QUICK recipe that is sure to put some warmth in your fams bellies as well as get you back to your fics, guilt free.

In other news, I want to marry tumblr. That's all. G'night.


1 warm rotisserie chicken - pulled from bone   
marinara sauce
large flour or wheat tortillas
shredded mozzarella cheese

spinach or romaine (washed)
sliced apples or pears
feta cheese
small bag of craisins (dried cranberries)
olive oil
raspberry balsamic vinegrette

lay a tortilla in a skillet over medium heat and sprinkle shredded mozz cheese all over, follow with pieces of rotisserie chicken (only put chicken on half) and spoon marinara sauce lightly over top. When the cheese is melted take a pizza cutter and cut straight through the center of the tortilla while  it is still in the pan and fold the quesodilla over.VOILA. dunzo.  Toss together a quick salad with Spinach, feta, apples, walnuts and craisins and sprinkle a little olive oil and raspberry balsamic vinegrette (just like balsamic just flavored) on top and you're good to go!

You can put any spin on quesodillas you want. They are so quick and easy and kids love them. As long as I put SOME KIND OF MEAT in my husband's he is happy. I make turkey and cheese queso's quite often and serve them with applesauce or grapes - super quick.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

For those that aren't scared of the dark

From time to time I need a little DarkWard in my life. I decided to check The Wayward Pushers blog tonight and I noticed the ARCHIVES link. I was impressed to find a list of fics, organized by WARDS < brilliant, when I clicked the link.
So, I browsed the list of wards and decided to click on one of my favorite wards, Darkward. They had an entire list of fics that are sure to give you a darkward fix and here are three fics, that I can guarantee, will NOT let you down, on your hunt for Darkward. These three are super stars when it comes to fanfiction.

Bella's blood was just too tempting to be ignored. While Edward drags her around the world, barely keeping a step ahead of his frantic family, Bella battles the monster for possession of the gentler vampire inside her captor. EPOV. Rated M-violence/sex

I personally loved this fic.  It was one of those fics that involved me to where I didn't want to put it down but didn't get extremely bitchy and bothered when I absolutely had to either.  I've read fics that make me insane like Hit by Destiny by OCDmess but with this one, I was able to keep a pleasant attitude while enjoying my addiction to the fiction. I hope that makes sense to some of you out there LOL.

Bella Swan is content with her career and her new life in London but feels that there is still something missing. Will a chance encounter with sinister yet intriguing stranger hold the answer to what she truly desires? AU. Rated M for lemony reasons.

Incubus: a sex demon that visits women in the deep dark of the night. Edward relies on his special gifts to consume his prey. What happens when he meets the one woman immune to his unique abilities? M for dark lemons and dark themes

After you get some Incubus Anomaly you should check out the band Incubus. Incubus is one of my favorite bands. Brandon Boyd, the lead singer, will sing you into oblivion with his divine, poetical, romantic lyrics and sensual voice. I've had the pleasure of seeing Incubus live and they are nothing short of amazing. I've inserted a little vid of Incubus acoustic version of a little song "Drive" you might remember from WAYYYYY back in the day<3

If you get a chance, stop by The Writers Coffee Shop Publishing House and browse their collection of published fiction.  You can purchase "Mocked by Destiny" by Michele Richard there. Michele is an avid fanfiction author and reader and one our TLS Ladies, show her some love and read the summary of her book below.

Mocked by Destiny by Michele Richard
For Stella Richards, life in the charming town of Virginia Beach is not as magical as one would think. Sun, fun, and sand only guarantee one thing, unwanted visitors. Stella learned long ago to never befriend anyone visiting the beach. They're here; then they're gone, drifting in and out as the tide ebbs and flows. She vowed to never connect with anyone, vacationing in Virginia Beach, - until spring break. Stefan changed everything.
Stefan Sterling lives life never knowing where he will end up next. Bouncing from one Military base to another has hampered his ability to connect to those around him. That's what happens when your father is a high-ranking officer in the military. Raised in a world of discipline, control, and strangers, Stefan never expected to find anyone he'd want to be close to...let alone love.
A family curse verses a loving abnormality promises to keep Stella and Stefan on their toes. Was it an accident or could it be destiny? Will they be able to survive their families? And, is there ever a time when you can fully let go of the person who awoke your soul?
A story of love, sacrifice, and growing up before it's time.

Meet the Poll 2/7 - 2/13/11

The Art Teacher by spanglemaker9
He gave me art and words and passion and life, but all I wanted was him.

Through the Flames by Sparkling Twilight
One fateful night, 29y/o Edward must make the decision that haunts every firefighter's worst nightmares. In choosing between his life and that of another, life altering repercussions arise. Rated M. Contains graphic descriptions of fire. HF Warning.

Oceans of Doubt by Belindella
A bookish girl is taken from her friends at Forks High and dropped into an ocean of suntanned strangers—LA. A popular surfer is living with a secret that's tearing him apart. Can a holiday in Mexico resolve Edward & Bella's conflict? Citrus flavor/OOC/AH

See You Again by Mrs.Robward
An Edward and Bella love story wrote drabble style per the daily Fictionista Wit Fit prompts. They're busy with college, travel, family, and professions - but true love trumps all... right? AH, M :Jan '11 Witfit: One plot line.

Protected by FL95
This is the story of ex-mobster, Edward Cullen, who turns Federal evidence against the mob king he used to work for, forcing him into the Witness Protection Program and into the chaotic life of Bella Swan.

Beautiful Stranger by NJNYTwigals
Newly divorced and single mom Bella decides it's time to let loose and have some fun at her friend's Halloween party. After an encounter with an alluring stranger, Bella's life turns upside down. AH-Cannon Couples. A one-shot turned multi-chapter

Swing my Way by Dont Live in regret
Everyones got secrets...dirty little secrets. Bella Swan is tired of her life, so will a swinger's party have someone swing her way. BPOV and EPOV. Warning...LEMONS AHEAD

Eight Nights of Delights by stupidsuckedinreader
AH/Jewish:Bella Swanstein & Edward Cullenman home from college and abandoned by their friends during winter break, find love within one another by the light of the Hanukkah menorah. A collection of stories with a kosher twist.

Distracted by WoahNow
Bella Swan's thoughts are elsewhere in her English lesson and the detention Mr Cullen gives her doesn't turn out quite as intended. Very lemony, all human, Edward x Bella. I advise you only to read this if you are over 18.

Men Without Eyes by danieller123
Summary: Bitterness meets a happy table. A new neighbor. A broken man. Reach out and touch faith. BxE AH/AU Disabledward.

Away from the Sun by butterflybetty
When Bella was three, she was found abandonned outside of a hospital in LA. She was placed with Carlisle, Esme, and their twin boys, Emmett and Jasper. What happens when they move to Forks? MA&AH Cannon pairing.

Taking Chances by butterflybetty
Single mom, Bella, and single dad, Edward, meet as their boys start school. Their boys become fast friends but will Edward and Bella? Or will they become more than friends? AH&MA for language and possible lemons.

Taint my Stance by SexToyandFarmBoy
AH,AU BPOV/EPOV Bella, a sex toy reviewer/blogger falls for a farmer in the UK. How will their online romance work out? There are sure to be lemons and lots of hot phone sex. Mature themes, language. Collab effort. Male writing for Ed, female for B. BxE

Two Too Shy by nails233 and KPeabody
What if you were too shy for your own good? How would you meet the love of your life if you barely spoke to anyone including your family? What if your soulmate had the same problem? A story about finding love when you're definitely not looking for it. AU

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Lemon Drops-One Shot Wednesdays

Happy Hump Day, everyone! Sometimes, it doesn’t take a whole story to get you in the mood, just a one-shot can do the trick. Here are some sexy one shots to get you over that mid-week hump and rev you up for the weekend ahead. Hope you enjoy them!

Woodsmoke and Cinnamon by glitteratiglue

Through life's changes, their one constant has been each other. Jasper learns the hard way that you should never take someone you love for granted. Can he learn from his mistakes, or will he let the greatest happiness he's ever known slip away? M/M slash.

Yeah, I hit the ground running and threw a slash fic out there first! Glitteratiglue is one of my favorite authors. She writes an amazing Jas/Bella fic called I Caught Fire, so when I got the alert for this one shot I was more than willing to give it a go. As usual, she did not disappoint!

The Story of Bella and Jasper by butterflybetty

Bella reflects on her life with Jasper. AH&MA for language and use of lemon. ONE-SHOT

If you have not read any of butterflybetty’s stories—WHY NOT? A prolific writer, with 33 stories and one-shots to her credit, I have yet to read anything from her that was not just amazing! I am also fortunate enough to call her a friend on FB. Make sure you check this out and some of her other stories. Tissue warnings with this one, but still worth the tears.

Stoli and Sexpenders by TKegl

For three years, Bella's kept her attraction for her friend, Edward, under wraps. But when he shows up to class wearing a pair of oh-so-sexy suspenders, her control begins to slip.

This little bit of fun started out as a Twitter plea for a one shot based on the pictures of Robert Pattinson in his Stoli t and sexpenders. I am so glad TKegl took up the bait.

Captive of a Bartender by AcrossTheSkyInStars

Entry for Summer of Smut One-shot Contest: A beautiful woman is taken captive by a sexy bartender while on vacation. They become consumed in a night Smut, OF COURSE. Rated M for mature themes, lemons, profanity...etc.

This was the very first one shot I ever read. I couldn’t comprehend how it was possible to make anything less than a multi-chapter fic full of lemony goodness. Oh my God, was I proven wrong! This is a bit of an older one-shot, but worth the flashback to read it.

Back Against the Wall by Feralness and FerlaV

An ill informed Bella wearing high heels and a pencil skirt. Add some alcohol, a large dog and a gorgeous man staying at the house she's about to break into. There's only one reason she has her Back Against The Wall.

This is from my amazing General of Fanficanon who is one incredibly awesome lady!! Who knew dog sitting could be so frigging interesting!! And that is all I am saying about that! Want to know more? Go read it!

Here are a few recs that we received over on the FB group. A great bunch of ladies are there, so come join us and have some fun!

Rec’d by FL95, the genius behind Edward Cullen Dick for Hire


Waxing Romantic

Rec’d by Feralness and FerlaV ~aka~ The General, the creator of Angel of Corruption

Setting Sun

The Edge of the Earth

So, there you go! A quintet of awesomeness from me, plus some great recs from fantabulous authors, to get you through your mid week slump! I’ll be back next week with another batch to keep you going! If you have any favorites, rec them to me here or on The Lemonade Stand Facebook group. I’ll be more than happy to check them out and pass them on! ‘Til next week~ SMOOCHES!