Monday, May 2, 2011

Fanfic History! PAW and The Dick In the same room, at the same time:

What happens when you put a few favorite fictional characters, from three different stories,  in the same room?
PAW from A Pound of Flesh by jaxon22,
The Dick from Edward Cullen Dick for Hire by FictionFreak95, Emmett and Rose from Rabbit Heart by KitsuShel, came by TLS and this is what happened - a collab from jaxon22 , FictionFreak95 and  KitsuShel for The Lemonade Stand:


-----------------------------

The place was dry and warm when The Dick crashed through the front door.

“I hate this fucking weather,” he grumbled, shaking the rain off his jacket.

Meet The Dick
As he cased the joint, his gaze zeroed in on the person he’d been sent here to meet, Punkassward, who was shooting a game of pool in the back of the bar. Dropping his jacket on a nearby stool, he scraped its legs against the floor. The stool made an irritating screeching noise as he sat his ass down. PAW looked up from his shot and frowned at the motherfucker who’d just interrupted him.


Meet PAW

“Let me guess, you’re The Dick?”

“No, I’m the fucking Tooth Fairy,” The Dick replied sarcastically.

Emmett McCarty watched as the scene unfolded before him, wondering how he’d gotten himself into a mess like this. Oh yeah, that’s right, he couldn’t say no to a pretty face. Sighing, he grabbed the notebook that he’d use to jot notes down on as he conducted this interview.


Meet Emmett McCarty

“Hey fellas,” he called out as he made his way over. Both Dick and PAW glared his way, causing Emmett to feel an odd sense of déjà vu.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Name’s Emmett and I own the bar, dude.  Michelle called in some favors and I’m interviewing you for her today.”

PAW nodded. “How do you want to do this?”

“Erm, I didn’t really give it much thought, honestly. How about you guys play a game and I’ll shoot some questions your way?”

The Dick shrugged. “I’m cool with that.”

He walked over and picked out a cue, chalking the end of it as PAW racked the balls up.

“Who's breaking this shit up anyway?” Dick asked.”Rock Paper Scissors or what?”

PAW cocked an eyebrow. “Are you for real with that shit?”

“What? You got a problem with fate, my friend?”

“I'm no friend of yours, Dick,” PAW replied, sarcasm dripping from his words as he rubbed chalk on his own cue impatiently.

“Ya know what?” Dick commented. “You're right. Okay, I can break. I don't mind schoolin' your ass...”

“Dick, isn’t that a pretty appropriate name for you, huh?”

“Pretty much, especially for the uh...criminally minded individual.” Dick coughed discreetly.

“I mean, you look like one...” PAW replied as he watched his competition break, “and you definitely shoot a cue like one...”

Dick stood back and watched as a few balls went into the pockets. “Guess that'll be high ball for me.”

PAW smirked. “Yeah, okay, 'Friend'.”

Em shook his head as he kept an eye on the back and forth between those two. It was just like a tennis match. “Whoa, you dudes are a little intense, aren't ya?”

Dick glanced over at him. “Didn't you have some questions? I mean, I can banter with the best...” he paused for a moment, eyeballing PAW, “but this ain't it.”

PAW paused with a smoke dangling from his lips. “Did you just eyeball me?”

Dick chuckled. “I think it's your go, pal.”

Em cleared his throat. “Okay, then.” He glanced at the list of questions, scanning them briefly.

PAW pointed toward The Dick. “You need to quit that 'pal' and 'friend' shit, right now.”

“Touchy,” Dick replied.

“Not touchy. I just don't fraternise with law enforcement.” PAW looked Dick up and down. “If that's what they call you...”

“Dude...call me law enforcement one more time and I might just have to teach you a thing or two about gettin' your ass kicked.”

PAW laughed loudly. “Yeah. Okay. PAL.”

“Who the fuck came up with these?” Emmett murmured as he scratched his head reading over the questions a second time. “Alright, first question, have either of you have ever considered wearing a "Dick Thong" and if not, why?”

Emmett scrunched his brow, before leveling the others with a baffled look. “What the fuck is a dick thong?”

Dick rubbed his temple. “Did Jo tell someone about that shit?”

PAW glanced at Em in confusion. “I'm sorry. A what?”

He shrugged. “A dick thong. I have no idea either, dude.”

PAW shot a pointed look towards Dick. “Maybe your dick thong is on too tight.”

“Rosie!” Emmett shouted, “can you bring me a shot of Jack?” He sighed and mumbled, “I think I'm going to need it.”

“Make it two shots...bring a bottle of Patron while you're at it, for the love of fucking god,” Dick called out as well.

A few moments later, Rosalie sauntered up to their spot and gave PAW the stink eye for blowing smoke rings into the air. “You know there's no smoking in here, right?” she asked, arching her eyebrow.

The Dick smirked, eager to see the Punk Ass get knocked down a peg.

“I'm a criminal, darlin'. I'm meant to ignore the rules,” he shot back at her, sucking deeply on the cigarette.

Dick rolled his eyes, causing PAW to glare at him.

“You got an eyerolling condition going on over there, dude? I'd get that shit looked at pronto.”

Emmett caressed her arm, attempting to soothe the wicked glare that she was shooting in the Punk’s direction. “It's okay, baby. I've got this.”

PAW scoffed as she walked away. “Jesus, it's eyeballing, eyerolling city in here.”

“Just admiring your badassness,” Dick commented sarcastically.

PAW snorted. “Wow. He even makes up words. What ya gonna do, Dick? Confiscate my smokes?”

Dick chuckled. “If I was pressed about your smokes...PAW...I'd take ‘em. I don't confiscate though, that's someone else’s job. I'll leave you to polluting your body all by yourself though.”

“Thanks,” PAW replied dryly. His eyes leveled on the bottle of Patron. “Is that shit like a law enforcement necessity these days, Mr Holier-Than-Thou?”

Dick clenched his jaw at law enforcement jab. “It's a necessity alright, but holy? I don't fucking think so.”

Emmett cleared his throat and looked back down at the questions. “Okay, so the dick thong was a bust. Literally.”

PAW shook his head. “Dick thong...good God.”

“Okay, I think we can handle this one,” Emmett murmured to himself. “Favorite mixed shot? My notes say here that, Dick- straight patron is not mixed.”

“Hmmm...I'd have to go with a Wet Pussy,” Dick replied. “One part Bailey's, three parts Tequila Rose.”

“The only one he gets,” PAW snorted.

“If you say so....PAW,” Dick growled.

PAW chuckled in response and rubbed his chin in thought. ”Ummm...I'm a Jack straight kinda guy.”

Emmett coughed. “Uh, straight isn't an option for this one, PAW.”

This time, it was Dick who snorted.

PAW glared at him. “You know, I think I'm allergic to assholes. Who the fuck knew?”

Dick shrugged. “Must be tough, seein' how you ARE one.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Emmett muttered, rubbing his hands across his face in frustration. “Let’s move on, shall we? Boxers, briefs or nada?”

“Pfffttt. Nada,” PAW replied.

The Dick leaned on his pool cue and thought for a moment. “Boxers if I have to...nothin' if I know Swan's gonna be around. I like to fuck with her ass.”

Emmett looked up in surprise. “Literally?”

At the same time, PAW added, “You like to fuck in the ass?”

Dick glowered in the Punk’s direction. “I don't fucking swing that way, but if you're really curious, there's a difference between  fucking WITH someone’s ass and fucking them IN the ass...just sayin'.”

PAW shrugged, smirking. “You can just never tell with you law enforce-, I mean, cop types... Hey, Blondie,” he shouted, “can I have a shot of Jack?”

Dick reached for the bottle of Patron, pouring it into his glass. “Your shot, hot shot.”

Emmett shook his head, deciding it was best to move along. “Favorite junk food? I've been told to make sure that PAW says something other than Oreos, by the way.”

PAW grumbled and rubbed his face. “Pizza? No, no, wait....um...”

The Dick laughed. “Dunk or straight up dude?”

PAW eyed him suspiciously. “I lick that shit straight, man. Best way.”

Dick held out his fist and PAW bumped it with his.

Emmett sighed and mumbled under his breath, “Thank the Lord.”

Dick grinned. “For mine, I’ll say Moon Pies...cause you know...I like pie.” He smiled innocently. “What?”

PAW sniggered, “Pie,” before responding,”I'm gonna go with pizza. Does Oreo pizza count?” He looked at Em hopefully.

Before he had a chance to reply, Rosalie walked over and plopped down a bottle of Jack, still glaring at PAW. “My name is NOT Blondie, asshat,” she seethed before flipping her hair and walking away.

PAW smirked. “Okay, that was hot.”

Dick covered his mouth and mumbled to the Punk, “She said asshat.”

He chuckled. “I know.”

Emmett, completely oblivious to other men’s conversation, watched his wife walk away, with a grin on his face as he stared at her swaying ass.

The Dick cleared his throat and took a corner bank shot, resuming their game.

Emmett shook his head to clear it. “Okay, next question. Favorite aphrodisiac? Y'know, oysters and shit like that.”

Dick smiled wistfully. “This one's easy like Sunday morning my friend....Ravioli.  Nuff said.”

PAW frowned in confusion. “Ravioli?”

“Sorry...Swan's MOUTH around said Ravioli.”

PAW held up a hand. “Whoa, whoa wait. What's with the quoting Lionel Ritchie and Ravioli nonsense?” He looked at Emmett. “Can I say Oreos again?”

“Sure, whatever works for you, dude.”

The Dick downed a shot. “Long fucking story dude...that might take more than one game of pool, if ya know what I'm sayin'....and there's nothin' wrong with a little bit-o-Lionel...every once in a fucking while.  With the right circumstances, that is.”

PAW smiled. “Ah, I hear ya man. Scratch the Oreo shit...I like peaches.” He discreetly adjusted his jeans.

Dick gave him a blank stare. “Peaches?”

“Long fucking story, dude...” he replied, lifting his Jack and gestured a cheers.

Dick nodded and raised his shot glass. “To long ass stories, then.”

“Abso-fuckin-lutely,” PAW replied, taking a  shot.

“Favorite public place to have sex?” Emmett piped up.

Dick tried to hide a smirk in remembrance of a certain public display of fucking affection. “Beedee's motherfuckin' Essum...is all I'm sayin'.”

PAW groaned. “Oral sex in a public library is fucking awesome.”

Emmett gave PAW a look of awe. “A Library? Classic.”

Dick smiled appreciatively. “NICE. Did she wear glasses? The glasses are classic.”

“Nope. No glasses. But the tight pencil skirt and silk blouse were...” PAW paused as he cleared his throat. “Yeah, that shit was fuckhot, except I'm needing to pay back the favour. If you know what I mean.”

Dick muttered under his breath, “Mother of fuck.”

PAW grinned with pride. “I know, man. I know.”

“Describe your favorite ladies lingerie?” Emmett asked, continuing the questions.

PAW leaned on his cue and looked to the ceiling for inspiration.

“Invisible underwear,” Dick replied, before slapping his leg in amusement. “No no...okay, seriously. Would have to go with Blue Lace...Victoria's Secret, front opening on the bra, crotchless panty...yep...definitely those.”

PAW gave him a blank stare, before whispering,”They really sell that shit? I thought it was an urban myth.”

Dick leaned over the table. “Oh, but they do, my friend....and so much more.”

PAW swallowed hard. “Fuck's sake...I gotta Google that shit.”

“Swan's got a 20% off coupon if, ya know...you need it.”

Emmett smirked. “I think my wife owns stock in Victoria's Secret. Just saying.”

PAW tried to look uninterested.  “Yeah, ya know, whatever...”

Dick quietly slipped a VIP card across the table to PAW for his discount.

“Hey, do they sell, like, panties with...I dunno, peaches on them...or maybe Oreos?”

Dick nodded slowly.

PAW pushed card into pocket. “Fuck,” he muttered.

Emmett shook his head and chuckled. “Glad to see you guys could bond over something...  Moving on, What’s your Achilles's heel? What does your lady do that leaves you weak?”

Dick blinked. “Shit...seriously?”

PAW rubbed the back of his neck. “Really?”

Emmett nodded.

The Dick grimaced. “I guess nut punches don't count here?”

PAW laughed. “I'm gonna have to meet the woman that nut punched you. Buy her a drink or some shit.”

Dick shrugged. “She'll need several after this fuckery.”

Emmett chuckled, before trying to clear up the subject. “Uh, I think this is meant as a sexual question.”

Both men responded at the same time.

“Um...” PAW glanced quickly Dick and Emmett, lowering his voice. “When she calls out my first name. That makes my cock twitch like a motherfucker.”

“Okay, so...” Dick looked around like he was in deep thought. “Sexually weak...all she has to do  is say my name...and she knows that shit too...gets me every goddamn time.”

The Dick looked over at PAW. “Jinx.”

Emmett guffawed. “You guys are more alike than you think, eh?”

PAW gave Dick a sideways stare. “No shit?”

“Fuckin' women,” Dick mumbled as he shook his head, pouring another shot and checking the  level of alcohol left.

PAW sparked a smoke, grinning at Rosalie, who rolled her eyes from behind the bar.

Dick looked down at the pool table. “Who's winning this game anyway?”

PAW scratched his head and looked at the balls. “Ummm...”

Dick shrugged and held up his shot glass. “To alcoholic consumption, my friend.”

“Cheers to that.” PAW gulped down his shot.

Emmett glanced back down at his notes. “Have you ever had a threesome? If so, who were the participants? If you've had more than one, just use the best one.”

“I did have a threesome,” PAW replied, shifting uncomfortably. “Look, is Peaches gonna read this?”

Emmett glance at him, wide-eyed. “Erm, no? I don’t know? I have no clue what your woman reads, dude.”

The Dick sighed. “Twins..ferry ride to Ellis fucking Island...I was trackin' down this nut fuck who'd lifted some expensive goddamn paintings outta the DC museum of art...Long story. Let's just say...the dude's car we ‘borrowed’ for the experience will never be the same... I need to make a mental note that Swan never sees this shit.”

PAW rolled his eyes at Emmett. “You know what I mean...Yes, I had a threeway. It was a birthday present from my boss. Swedish masseurs. Goddamn did they massage my shit...”

“Swedish huh?” Dick asked.

PAW pulled on his smoke. “Oh, yeah. Very eager.”

Emmett nodded appreciatively.

Dick’s eyes glazed over, day dreaming for a minute or two, before shaking it off.

PAW cleared his throat. “Next question?”

“Do you think your women would get along?”

The Dick nodded. “Swan gets along with fucking everybody.  Except dick twats who try shit with her she never asked for...including yours truly.”

PAW chuckled. “I'm guessing the woman that puts up with this asshole is a saint or mentally challenged, either way, I think they'd get along.”

Dick’s shoulders bobbed like a motherfucker. “That was the easiest question of the goddamn day, I'd say.”

Emmett laughed, agreeing with that sentiment. “What's your deepest, smuttiest fantasy?” Both men shot him incredulous looks. “Hey, I didn't make this shit up. I'm just asking them.”

PAW sighed. “Jesus, this could take a while.”

“I’ve been tryin’ to get Swan on board with takin’ a  ride on the DC metro during rush hour, puttin’ some ear buds on her to the sounds of maybe....hell I dunno...Band of Skulls or somethin’…. You know…to see if she can keep eye contact with me while I’m lettin’ my fingers do the fuckin’ if ya know what I mean.”

PAW rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Eating Peaches out on the table that we used during our sessions at Arthur Kill? Fucking her on Kala. Taking her from behind in Peter's office. Damn, with that woman the list could be endless...”

Dick cocked an eyebrow. “Peaches...I get it.”

“Sweet and fruity, my man. Sweet and fruity.” PAW grinned.

Dick smiled and nodded. “True that.”

Emmett glanced down at his notes and blanched. “For the next question, please keep in mind that I'm just the messenger here... If you had to go gay for a day, what guy would you pick?”

“Ah, Jesus...not this shit again,” Dick groaned.

PAW blinked slowly. “..the fuck?”

Dick looked over at the punk. “Right?” He paused for a minute, before snapping his fingers. ”Okay…I got one… Jane Lynch….that counts as a dude, right? ...   What?  She’s fucking bad ass.  And one tall ass motherfucker.”

PAW smirked. “Well, we know super cop here ‘Doesn't swing that way’ and I'm a straight up hetero.”

The Dick pointed to his chest and mouthed, “Not. A. Cop.”

PAW mouthed back, “Yes. You. Are.”

Dick sighed. “Cops are dirty, dude....I wouldn't want shit to do with that world....fuck that noise.”

PAW nodded. “Well, at least we agree on something. Will wonders never fucking cease?”

“Small fucking universe.”

Emmett shook his head. “Okay, okay, settle down. Just a few more questions. What's in your nightstand?”

“My Colt,” Dick answered immediately. “And a shit load of tickets for parking illegally.”

PAW started to count on his fingers. “Condoms, cigarettes, lube, copy of A Farewell to Arms,” he paused to glare at Dick. “Don't judge. A pair of Peaches' underwear,” he snorted, ”which she still doesn't know about. Handcuffs. I know, ironic as fuck, right?” He held his palm up to Dick, who scowled and stared in disbelief.

“Those cuffs aren't government issued by any chance...I know a grunt who's missing a pair from when he illegally searched this chick’s apartment one night when...well...nevermind the deets...just curious.”

PAW looked away and mumbled. “Oh, no, the way I got them was totally legit...”

“I don't wanna know.”

“Cop learns fast.”

Dick ignored PAW’s blatant attempt at pissing him off and downed another shot.

Emmett chuckled. “Coke or Pepsi?”

“Dr. fucking Pepper,” Dick replied.

PAW grimaced. “Neither...I like Sprite.”

Dick burst out laughing, “Sorry,” he muttered as he tried to stop. “Doesn't matter, I guess. I'm sure you've got more important things to worry about....like that shot you still need to take on the table there...”

PAW rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Forrest”

Dick snorted. “There isn't even any fucking caffeine in that shit...SPORT.”

“Some of us don't need caffeine to function, Dick TRACY.”

Dick shook his head. “Burn. Ya burned me there...but hell, at least ya didn't use the C word.  Progress.”

PAW set his cigarette in an ashtray and leaned forward to shoot his ball. “Yeah, how about that?”

The Dick shrugged. “Who are you, like...Paul Newman or somethin'?”

“Nah, Marlon Brando...Fuck hot motorcycle.”

Emmett watched the two men, wondering how he was going to make it through this. “Okay, moving on. Dog or cat?”

Dick snorted. “Dog...duh.  And not by my choice, might add.”

PAW grinned. “Dog. One pussy is enough for me, thank you very much.”
“I'm hungry as shit...they have food here, McCarty?” Dick asked.

“Word,” PAW added.

Emmett shrugged. “Uh, yeah, sure. Burgers okay? Rosie makes a mean burger.”

PAW nodded enthusiastically. “A burger sounds fucking heavenly.”

Emmett called Rosalie over and turned back to the guys, only to find PAW looking at him thoughtfully. “What?” he asked.

“This place is called Mac’s, right? Is that because of your name?”

Dick snorted and muttered under his breath, “Fucking rocket scientist here.”

Emmett smirked and nodded.

“Cool,” PAW replied. “So, can I call you Mac?”

Rosalie snorted. “No, that’s my father-in-law. His best friend calls him Shaggy, though.”

Emmett glared at her as the two men burst out in laughter. She smiled sweetly and patted his shoulder, before turning to the others.

“What would you guys like?”

“A burger with cheese, bacon and shrooms on it for me,” Dick asked.

PAW licked his lips. “That sounds epic. Make it two, Blondie.”

The Dick shook his head. “Dude, she's gonna kick your ass.”

“Yeah, but it'll be fun to watch, right?” PAW grinned.

“Amen, my friend...a-men.”

Rosalie gave PAW a bitch brow. “You're really going to fuck with the person making your food? Do you have no common sense?”

“Nope.”

She rolled her eyes. “Apparently,” she commented before heading for the kitchen.

“Okay, okay.” PAW took a  deep breath and gave Rosalie a smoldering stare. “I apologise. I would love one of your mean burgers, Rosalie. Thank you.”

Rosalie turned and smiled. “Now, that’s what I’m talking about. How does extra bacon sound, babe?”

He winked. “You know it.”

“Pussy-whipped,” Dick coughed into his hand.

PAW lifted his shot glass. “A-MEN.”

Dick raised his as well. “To pussy-whipped motherfuckers.”

“May the whipping be long and hard...” PAW chuckled. He nudged Dick. “Don't underestimate the power of the stare.”

Emmet glowered at him. “Stop ogling my wife, dude.”

“My bad, man.”

“Last question,” Emmett spoke up.

Dick looked down at his watch. “Excellent timing.”

“Last one? Fuckin' A,” PAW replied, typing out a quick text message.

“What song describes you?”

Dick scowled in thought.

PAW snickered. “If you're thinking Steel Bars by Michael Bolton, Cop Ass, you can stop right there.”

“Michael Bolton is not in my music-tionary, dude...that's just wrong.”

“Thank fuck for that,” PAW replied. “They do teach you dudes something at the Academy, then?”

Dick rolled his eyes, then smiled and spoke in a cheesy radio host voice, “Today's music is brought to you by Kevin Rudolf...’In the City’.”

PAW tapped his fingers in thought. “Creep by Radiohead? Or Basketcase by Greenday?”

The Dick nodded. “BrainStew.”

“I reckon Dick thinks he's bringing sexy back,” PAW said as he chuckled.

He snorted. “With me, that shit never fucking left.”

PAW raised his glass. “Touché, motherfucker.”

Dick nodded and drank. His eyes lit up as he watched Rosalie carrying a tray up from the back.

“Oh, Rosie, you're fucking beautiful,” PAW remarked.

Dick watched as Rosie leaned over to set the plates down on a table nearby, knocking the eight ball into the pocket without looking.

“You...are a spectacular lady, Rosie,” he murmured, before picking up a burger and shoving it into his mouth. “Mmmmmmf.”

PAW took a huge bite. “Dammnnnnn....”

After a few minutes of chewing and swallowing, PAW looked over at the pool table and frowned. “Hey, did you pot the black?”

Dick glanced over and shrugged. “Muffta skafffed.”

“I'm sorry, I don't speak burger. What was that?”

Dick swallowed. “Sorry, musta scratched.”

“...the fuck, dude?”

“Hey you're the one that left all your ball hangin’ out like that.” Dick chuckled.

“Ha. Fuckin'. Ha,” PAW deadpanned, before turning to Em. “I win then, right?”

Dick cocked an eyebrow. “With that many balls on the table?  Seriously?”

“You scratched the fuckin' eight ball, dude!” PAW argued.

Dick shot him a bored look. “And?”
PAW laughed with no humour. “You fucking cops! You're more fucking crooked than any fucker I've ever met inside.”

Dick looked around for a minute, before landing his eyes on Emmett’s note pad. “Can I have a piece, man?”

Em tore off a blank piece of paper and handed it to him silently, wondering what would happen next.

The Dick jotted down the address to the closest Victoria’s Secret, then handed it to PAW. “Here, does that make up for the fuck up?”

PAW looked down at the address and nodded. “Yeah, that helps.”

“Dude, it's pool. Not the fucking world wide poker tour,” Dick replied.

“What the fuck ever,” PAW scoffed.

“And I may be a lot a things...but crooked is definitely not one of them....technically anyway...”

PAW shook his head. “If you're not crooked, then I'm the fucking President. Not crooked, my ass...You'd have to be crooked to drive a car like that. Vanquish, right?” He chuckled. “Compensating for something?”

“Uh....not anymore... and hey, if I can afford to drive the best, why shouldn't I?”

“Fair enough, Cop.”

“There's a lotta fucking rage in you, PAW, I have the number to a...” he paused for a moment, thinking, “decent...” Another pause. “Thera....nevermind.”

PAW smirked and patted Dick’s arm.”You keep that number, man. After these shenanigans, you may need it!”

“No fucking doubt.”

PAW stretched and threw his napkin onto a plate. “Can i get the fuck outta dodge now? I got a woman to see.”

Emmett nodded. “Thanks for stopping by, guys. It's been real.”

Dick pulled out his phone, checking his messages. “Shit...ditto.  Hey, thanks Shaggy...and uh...PAW...you uh...” He waved a hand. “Forget it.”

PAW shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah, man...I'll, um..see ya around...”

“I need to get that VIP card back...so,” Dick muttered, “yeah.”

PAW rubbed the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah...yeah, thanks, I mean, ya know...for that...”

Dick nodded. “Ask for Veronica, she knows her shit.”

“Veronica, huh? I knew a Veronica once...”

Dick smiled and shook his head, leaving way too much fucking money for Rosie on the table. “This one's on me.”

PAW laughed. “Who am I to say no to a cop payin’ for lunch? Thanks, Shaggy!” He winked.

The Dick shook his head. “One day, you might need a Dick as a friend, PAW,” he said as he handed him a card. “Call me.”

PAW pocketed the card and grabbed his coat, strolling towards the exit, alongside Dick. “What was it that you said about fate earlier, my friend?” He chuckled. “You're tempting the motherfucker...”

Dick whipped his jacket on, “Yeah, I pretty much pissed fate off a long time ago. I figure, what the hell.”

Emmett sighed and slumped into his chair, sighing as he felt his wife’s hands rubbing his back.

“That wasn’t so bad, eh?” she murmured.

“Nah,” he laughed. “Based on Michelle’s descriptions, I was worried about the cost of damages from a bar room brawl.”

“They seemed like nice guys, apart from the foul mouths and smoking.”

Emmett nodded. “Was there something familiar about them, though? Like, they looked like someone I knew, but I can’t put my finger on it.”

Rose shrugged. “I didn’t really notice anything, sorry.”

He sighed. “Don’t worry about it, babe. I’m sure it’ll come to me sooner or later.”

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A note from @PAWsPeaches:

I would like to take a moment to thank the amazing KitsuShel for letting her characters Emmett and Rose from her story Rabbit Heart, hang out with us here. KitsuShel took the time to get together and collaberate with jaxon22 and FictionFreak95 and together the three of them pumped out all of the lovely action you just read and I know you all appreciate it as much as I do.

This idea of two of my favorite wards being in the same room, at the same time and having conversation just wouldn't let go of me and I finally asked jaxon22 and FictionFreak95 to let me have their men for awhile. Since I've carried a crush on Shaggy (Emmett) from KitsuShel's Rabbit Heart, I knew he would be the perfect mediator for this meeting. Thank goodness, they all agreed, I glowed with excitement, a few weeks later, and here we are.

Please, Please go and read these wonderful stories if you haven't already. I chose these characters because there is something remarkable about each one of them and you will feel the same when you meet them:



When Private Eye Edward Cullen decides to investigate the "accidental death" of an old friend, he finds more people are involved then he originally theorized as the case takes twists & turns he never saw coming after Bella Swan arrives in town. AH, BxE


When a stalker gets too close to rockstar Izzy Dwyer, she makes a choice that brings her back to her hometown and leads her on a journey full of new love and friendships.









A Pound of Flesh by jaxon22
To pay a debt she owes her father, Isabella Swan starts a new job as a prison tutor. Edward Cullen, with his own debts, is the Punk Ass inmate in her class. Can they fight the odds and their dangerous attaction to learn from each other? A/H, Lemons, OOC

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