Monday, March 19, 2012

TLS Fics of the Week 3/15 - 3/21/2012

The Veil by Belladonnacullen
You always have the choice between life and death... until you don't. There is poetry at the beginning and end of our journey, but it's what you make of the interim that counts. BxE, rated M, canon parings. Twilight - Rated: M

Reviewed by: Trouble and Jo

*Jo and Amy take a seat at The Lemonade Stand, order a tasty beverage or two, then chat about what they’ve been reading recently*

Trouble: Are you reading BDC’s new story, The Veil?

JO: um. YES.

Trouble: Of course you are. Because she’s fantastic and she writes the sexiest Edwards ever.

JO: And the fact that she’s doing this all secret like and mysteriously just gives me goosebumps like crazy.

Trouble: That’s what I love about this story. You experience this fic, you don’t just read it.

JO: I think what is truly getting inside my head and under my skin with this one, is the fact that Bella is struggling so hard with a certain decision she’s trying to come to grips with. Does she want to be with Edward? Forever? Or does she want to cling to that last bit of humanity that she has... while she still has it? *SIGH*

Trouble: Yes! How does someone who’s not only surrounded by death at work but who has been waiting for death to take her most of her life deal with the possibility of never having to go to the other side?

JO: RIGHT. And how she watches the wake of mourning it leaves behind in the families that are left behind.

Trouble: So the vamp part was unexpected, even though she hasn’t come out and said it, I think we can agree this is a Vampward. I love that in this story about the transition from life to death, the living is comforted by the “dead”. And the dead brings someone who’s been afraid to live to life. All these ironies make it so intriguing.

JO: Killing me. Let’s visit just one of the hints Belladonnacullen gives us as to what is going through this Bella’s mind...

His large hands slide around to my ass leaving aching, uncovered breasts. He hitches up my skirt and tugs on my tights and panties. Cool air from the open window kisses bare flesh.

He has me.

"You love me?" I probe.

His hands still and he takes the barest hint of a step backwards, surveying, licking his lips. "If there was a word that meant more, I would use it." He unbuttons and unzips my skirt so that it slides to the floor – a denim puddle around stocking feet.

"Love, in its conventional sense, cannot capture what you do to me."

My head swims. I want to bottle this moment and drink it in small sips throughout the rest of my life.

His hands run around to my ass again and he pulls my body roughly against his. His hardening cock presses over my pubic bone. I burn where we touch.

"I love your ass and I love your tits. But love doesn't really come close to the rest... But maybe I just never knew."

My knees are weak and I'm grateful for his strong arms. His eyes leave no room for dispute.

"You love me," I whisper.

"Like air. Do you love me?"


"Tell me?"

The world stops with his quiet plea, or I stop and the world spins around me. This was never supposed to be about love.

"You can be honest with me, Bella."

My heart pounds in my chest. "You make me feel… alive - so amazingly alive, more than before, even. Being with you, it's the best thing, almost ever. But I'm frightened by… what this means."

"I frighten you?" He twists the back of my blouse, pulling my arms behind, binding me in pinstriped cotton.

"No," I breathe.

"That's a start."

My blouse goes slack, and arms and legs and fabric grapple and shift until I'm on my back on the bed and he's between my thighs, his salty lips against mine, a hand fisting my hair, another grasping my hip. I pull off his tie, and register the clank of a belt and subtle zip of a fly. He's everywhere at once, and one place in particular, and my chest wants to burst open when he thrusts inside. Brought to the edge and tipped over, I see bursts of light. I close my eyes and see stars.

Trouble: Mmm hmm. I think I love this vamp Edward better than the original. He’s got some of the same hang ups but he’s all about loving Bella, there to ground her while taking her to the moon and back (sorry, I couldn’t resist). His presence is hot and unnerving, comforting and scary all at the same time. I also am glad that we don’t say The Lord’s Prayer in latin in church - because I would be having impure thoughts. And let’s not forget Christmas lights. BDC is really messing with my relationship with baby Jesus.

JO: Dude. Don’t even get me started on what that chapter did to me. BDC words are like poetry in motion, which fits a vamp story quite well. And I love that I still feel a little intimidated by this Edward while swooning like a nut over the love he has for Bella. How completely and utterly captured he is by her and how it does not appear that he takes “No” for an answer with regards to this one particular question.

I can’t wait to see what her final answer is and how it’s all going to play out.

Trouble: So, I’m giving this story a five lemons out of five (note to TLS, you should TOTALLY start rating in lemons) It’s still a WIP but the chapters are nice and short. There always some Edward. There’s always a little physical connection in each one. And the glimpses into the lives of the patients Bella works with are beautiful and heartfelt. You aren’t going to hate Jessica or Mike in this fic. This is not about character flaws but about how we’re all the same when it comes down to it. We live, we love, we mess up, but in the end, we all step behind the veil and find the strength to let go. *whispers* but what if you didn’t have to let go? What if you could really have forever? How much would that shake up your existence when you’ve spent so long staring at the veil in front of you?

JO: I would have to concur, Amy. Belladonnacullen wraps all the things we love about fic and Edward and love and life... and gives them to us so perfectly in this story. What else can I add to what Amy has stated here? She’s locked and loaded everything these words are about and how they affect us on a very... errrm, deep level. Is it hot in here?

Trouble: They all need to go read now. I heard the Dick and PAW are hanging out in some pool hall around here. You game?

JO: Dude. You don’t have to ask me twice. We might need to take a bottle of Patron over with us, though. And maybe some Oreos. You know, to soften them up a little.

Trouble:    :)

Dusty by Yellowbella
She loves him. He loves her crazy. She's a hopeless romantic. He's just hopeless. She's afraid to let go. He won't let her. A story about a silly girl in love with a foolish boy. Here, forever is a lie. TeamBella23 - the realist and YellowGlue - the poet Twilight - Rated: M

Reviewed by: VampsHaveLaws and aWhiteBlankPage

Love is Dusty.

We have to start off by saying we have never read a prologue as many times as we have with Dusty. Or been as emotionally invested in a story and its characters. Every last one of them.

We get butterflies in our tummies and our hearts beat in quick anticipation. And Thursdays are now referred to as Dusty Day. Our favourite day of the week.

From the onset, there is the potential, or the promise rather, that this story will be gut wrenching.

"When did you get back?" I run my fingers through my mother's willow tree, keeping my voice low and my head down as I walk through its branches.

"Today," he says, following me. "I came here first. I haven't been by my home yet."

I smile to myself, sickly satisfied with his confession. I take a chance and look, glimpsing over my bare shoulder. Edward walks behind me, following my lead. His eyes are tired and his skin is unwell. Edward's hair is dirty, but his clothes are brand new.

Those are sometimes the perks of a sinner who has money: they look disgustingly beautiful.

Dusty is a story about first love—real love—the kind that leads to bad decisions, shared secrets and excuse, excuse, excuse.

The kind that makes you feel like a grown up even though you’re still a child.

The kind that makes you a little crazy.

The kind you get up for in the morning.

The best of the best.

And the worst of the worst.

I know he loves me. I never doubt his love. I doubt his intentions and respect. I distrust his motives and allegiance.


I smother in his imperceptible, dictating love.

He's loves traitor.

With these words alone, you know that the two authors that make up YellowBella—YellowGlue and TeamBella23—are going to both kiss your heart and grind it to pulp beneath a dirty shoe. While the storyline and characters are captivating and unique, ultimately it’s the gorgeous, simple words that draw you in and leave you breathless. And when the authors tell you that this story is going to be catastrophic, you believe them.

When the story begins, Bella is an innocent eleven year old: a child. Edward is thirteen, troubled, and instantly takes notice of her.

And Alice... she rolls into Bella’s life on four wheels, almost knocking her down in the process. They become the kind of inseparable you know can’t last.

The girl just looks at me, tucking her board underneath her arm. Then she smiles, and so do I. "Are you eating a yellow popsicle for breakfast?" she asks, wiping her forehead with the back of her hand.

I look down at my popsicle and nod. "Yes."

"That's so cool. I wanted to eat cake for breakfast today, because it was my dad's birthday yesterday and we had chocolate cake last night, but Mom said no, so then I had to eat Frosted Flakes. Your mom is probably waaayyy cooler than my mom. Lucky. You're so lucky. I'm Alice Cullen."

She's a capsule of energy. I can hardly keep up. "I'm Bella Swan."

It’s here she also first meets Edward. He compliments her hair colour; she compliments his hair back. He teases; she takes it. He stares a lot; she pulls a funny face.

Bella is naive in so many ways. She’s temptingly innocent, and sometimes, without meaning to be, and definitely in the head of a teenage boy, teasingly sexual.

I have part of a Twinkie (courtesy of Alice) in my mouth, and I'm taken off guard by the question, so I don't bite down just yet. Edward stuck around by the gate with Alice and waited for me before class started today; his friend Petey is with him. I don't particularly like the way Peter looks at me, but then again, I don't think I like the way any boy looks at me. Even Edward, because sometimes he stares at me with those abnormal blue eyes and it's just scary.

Now Alice, Edward, and Petey are all waiting for my answer, and I don't want to tell them. So I chew my Twinkie slow, slow, slow. When the first bite is finished, I take another.

Edward smiles; his eyes are set on at my mouth. Then Petey says something like, "She's a fifth grader?" And Edward looks at him instead.

I'm still chewing, doing all I can to procrastinate this conversation. Alice becomes bored with my slow eating and starts riding her board around the parking lot. Edward waits for my answer after he kind of mumbles a little something to Petey, and Petey sort of rolls his eyes before crossing his arms over his chest and loud-sighing.

Boys are a new concept to Bliss. She’s too young to fully understand the impact of the friendship she begins with Edward. Too young to grasp what is about to happen before it’s all too late. Too young to control the events that follow: the sneaking around, the sweetest secrets, the heartbreaking emotional connection. The purest love and the ugliest betrayal.

Edward is simply lost. His addiction to Bliss comes second to other, more illicit addictions. His often contentious relationship with his parents, who pretend to give him boundaries, fuels the majority of his rebellious escapades. Lying. Drinking. Drug use. Causal sex. He’s on a downward spiral. Essentially, Edward is a monster. And he knows it. Admits to it. He knows he’s going to end up hurting her—it’s inevitable. And yet he can’t stop himself. He wants to keep her. And in doing so, will take her down with him.

Bella loves me no matter what. She's too naïve to know any better, and I'm reckless enough to let her, because I love her, too.

She's my softer-side, and I'm her motherfucking monster.

But he’s also just a boy. A boy who fell in love with a girl. A girl who is the better part of him—his heart.

Who really knows, but it was like Bliss came into our lives at just the right moment. I guess you can call it fate, if you believe in that shit. She's the friend my sister needed, the daughter my mom wanted, a child my dad doesn't feel guilty about, and the fucking reason my heart beats.

Isabella Bliss is the pièce de résistance. She's our saving fucking grace. She is my pulse and my nervousness and my … everything. She is my everything.

Despite his actions—his “relationships” with other girls—his love for Bliss is so strong. His inner war rages, simultaneously trying to push her away and pull her closer, all at the same time. His need to protect her will always be overshadowed by his need to consumer her. And in the end, how do you stay away from the very reason your heart beats?

The answer is: You don’t.

"I love you, though." I say with a smile, but she's not happy.

I wasn't supposed to fall in love with her. Before this happened, I didn't even know I was capable of loving another person like I love B. My idea of love is distorted and screwed. The only example I had was my parents, and they spent the first ten years of my life cheating, yelling, crying, and raging. They used my sister and I as leverage in their battles, and used their supposed love as a weapon to one-up each other. Until recently, I was under the impression that was how you love someone. Until Bella.

It's different now. My parents are passionate and not afraid to show how in love they are. They're always touching or looking at each other. My mom and dad move together, and they're considerate of one another. They're a team. It's them against the entire fucking world. And I want that with Bliss some day, I guess. But it's complicated. More complicated than I can wrap my mind around. It's been hard for me to forget how they were in the beginning. My parents stained my mind and wrecked me emotionally. But not only that. She's so protected, and I'm not. I should shield her from that, right?

I won't, though.

Their love is a secret. From everyone. It’s an unspoken understanding that nobody can know that she sneaks into his bed after Alice goes to sleep. Nobody can know the truth of who they are to each other. The unspoken lies are endless, but it’s the way Bliss justifies his actions, his indiscretions, that is heartbreaking.

And nothing is going to stop Edward.

I know this.

I know all of this.

I exhale slow, slow, slowly. I open my eyes and look up, and press my hands together over my chest.

I also know the sounds Edward's heart makes.

I know what his voice sounds like wrapped around I love you.

I know what the word forever feels like right over my heart.

I know that his eyes are brightest blue when they're barely open in the too-early-to-separate-ourselves morning, and I know the taste of the soft, soft, softest kisses.

Addiction. Obsession. All-consuming, drowning love. She’s his Isabella Bliss, Princess Pie, baby, baby, baby. He’s her tears, her heart, her forever—her never. Together they are love and destruction.

What resonates most about this story is how real it is. So many of us have been here, lived this, been completely consumed with a love that is not always healthy. It’s altogether the best feeling in the world and earth-shattering of moments.

This story will make you feel. It will make you want to scream. It will make you love, love, love. Read it. Fucking do it. Make Thursday Dusty Day. We’ll hold your hand.

I know Edward. Like nobody else, I know him. Just like he knows me. I don't know what to do, but I'll learn. I'll figure out how to deal, because I have to ... because even though it hurts, I can't imagine giving this up. He's so much to me. He's everything.

Exhaling steadily, I open the bathroom door and leave my helplessness behind. I trade it for knowledge, because I know we're a living, breathing, aching, love-twisting contradiction.

We're meant to be and can't even be.

We're impossibly necessary.

We're irreconcilably perfect.

We're absurd.

We're made for heaven, but we're doomed, and we can't even stop.

Love is banana popsicles.

Love is baseball sweaters that smell like Edward.

Love is jellies and cream soda floats.

Love is rule number two.

Love is pain.

Love is a traitor.

Love is Thursday.

Love is Dusty.

High Fidelity by Ireen H
Edward is an unfeeling bastard. Bella gets caught up in his games. Language and lots of it. Lemons eventually. It's a slow burn, slow and painful. Mature. Lots of random pop culture references. AH, AU, ExB.

Reviewed by: Dragnfli Threethreesix

I was so excited when Nic asked me to review this story. But then, I got nervous.  How am I going to do this amazing story justice?

First off, this story is High Fidelity by IRene H.  I saw it rec’d here on TLS and people were swooning over it, so I decided to give it a go.  Just let me say that I sure was not disappointed.  It has been so long since I have been really excited over a story and to have everyone just as excited as I am!

It starts with a very short first chapter, but I was definitely hooked by the last sentence.

I am going to kill Edward Cullen.

Bella works in a real estate office in the same complex as insurance agent, Edward. According to Bella, they have worked “together” for five years and Edward has barely spoken a word to her. That is until he accuses Bella of hitting a car in the parking lot.  Best friend Jasper, backs up her story, but much to her dismay, Edward files a claim against her anyway. Hence, her wanting to kill him!

This is what gets the ball rolling between the two of them.  I have to say that this Bella is awesome.  She is a completely complex character, works on cars, caters on the weekends, has tattoos and has been through something major in her twenty-seven years, but I don’t want to give that away. She’s feisty, but not annoyingly so, strong yet has self-doubt, she is basically a real human with real feelings and emotions.                                                                                                                                                    
Most of the story, so far, is told from Bella’s point of view, but we get some glimpses into Edward and his life.  I have a feeling his upbringing has been quite complex. We first hear his side of things at Carlisle and Esme’s wedding.

I look at the clock on my cell phone. Only about ten hours to go. "What a farce."

"Maybe this one will last," Alice says as she paints on some gloss behind me.

"Right. Fifth time's the charm?"

"Sixth," she corrects.

"Fifth." Carlisle has only enjoyed wedded bliss on four previous occasions. "I'm a bastard, remember, sister?"

"Of course, brother. How silly of me."

Edward definitely gets some mixed reactions out of me.  Sometimes I want to punch him, and sometimes I want to kiss him. But one thing is for sure, Isabella certainly starts to have an effect on him.

"I can see your tattoos. That is pretty unprofessional, don't you think?" I probably wouldn't notice them if I hadn't seen her with her sleeves rolled up earlier.

She doesn't answer me. She just pours.

"How many do you have?"

She sticks the stopper back in the bottle. "That's not really your business."

"You should have done a better job of hiding them then, shouldn't you?" For some reason the thought of her skin all defiled like that is suddenly very intriguing. "How many?"

"I can't give you a number."

Very intriguing.

"How many hours?"

"In the chair?" Fuck yes in the chair. I think my eyes answer that question without the need for me to say anything.

She glares at me. "A lot." I never really noticed her mouth before. I mean I noticed it... but I didn't notice the thought of it wrapping around my cock. I'm noticing it now.

"Do you like pain, Isabella?"

She quirks a brow at me. A very hostile brow. "Do you?"

I smile and sip my Glenfiddich. I can't help it. "Your discomfort is somewhat amusing to me."

She is all sarcasm. "How gratifying."

Oh yea. That is some mouth.

I love Irene H’s writing style. It is refreshing and she throws such a great sense of humor in with all the heavier stuff and a great plot to go along with it.  On top of that, she is such a sweet person and really deserves all the recognition her first WIP is getting!  At only seven chapters in, I hope you will run and read it and join in with all the excitement!

Pocket Change by A White Blank Page
I know of three kinds of change: the kind that jangles around in your pocket, the kind that happens slowly, every moment of every day, and the kind that blows you away in an instant.Twilight - Rated: M

Reviewed by: Primarycolors aka Robin Writes

As soon as I read the first chapter of aWhiteBlankPage’s story Pocket Change, I knew I would fall in love. The very first sentence, from Bella’s point of view, compels you to read more.

I was an orphan for two days. I thought it was forever, but like so many things, I was wrong. And then one day, I was right.

I immediately wanted inside Bella’s head. What else had she been wrong about? What happened to finally make her right? And if that wasn’t enough, aWhiteBlankPage pulls us in further with her vivid imagery, sparkling with details and heart clenching insight into the insecurities and fears we all feel.

I'm on the grade school playground in my new school in my new town in my new life.

"You have Dorothy shoes." I reach my hand out to be closer to them.

"You can't touch them." Her voice is cold and perfect at the same time.

"I wasn't going to touch them." I want to touch them. They are too beautiful to be real. Nothing should be that beautiful. Nothing real.

"Well, you can't. Keep your stinking fingers off of them. You'll rub the sparkles off. Actually, don't even look at them." She looks at me like I'm nothing.

"Fuck you, Rosalie."

I watch the beautiful shoes that belong to the impossibly beautiful girl march off the playground and into the school.

I sit in the principal's office and wait for Charlie. I look down at my own boring shoes, wishing that they were covered in red sparkles. Rosalie doesn't deserve those shoes. She's not Dorothy. She's the Wicked Witch.

I don’t want to give too much away. Just know that Pocket Change is wonderfully and lovingly told, from an author that has taken the time to truly understand her characters. aWhiteBlankPage doesn’t shy away from the hard stuff, but she holds our hand through the tears and heartache. And wow. It’s so worth it in the end. The romance is so beautiful and pure it will make you ache in all the right places… unravel you and put you back together in new and different ways.

I read Pocket Change as a work-in-progress and it was amazing. But now that’s it’s complete, it’s absolutely stunning in it’s entirety. The intense, tightly woven plot will make you think, make you feel and you won’t be able to set it aside until you’ve read the last chapter.

If you’ve read it as a WIP, read it again… I swear you’ll find new things that you missed before. And if Pocket Change is new to you, well, you’ve just found your next obsession. aWhiteBlankPage will take good care of you, I promise.

The Shadow That Remains by Iambeagle
A past tragedy left Bella desperate and destroyed until a recent accident changes everything.Twilight - Rated: M

Reviewed by: Livie Liv

"I kind of wish I were dead."

Ouch. And that’s how this bad boy starts.

Joking or not, we see from the start that Bella is miserable. She’s bitter, drowning herself in booze, avoiding her friends, and avoiding...Edward. Why you ask? Learning the answer to that question is why we’re all here.

The Shadow That Remains is one of those stories where you want to grab the characters, pull them under the blanket with you, and give them warm milk and cookies.

As the summary states, Bella is in an accident, but it’s what happens as a result of that accident that leaves you reeling. Haven’t we all wished we could go back in time, hit that reset button, and fix our mistakes? Right our wrongs? Well, Bella actually gets that chance... just not in the way you might think.

"Isabella," the doctor said slowly, "can you tell me what year it is?"

Their eyes were focused on me, waiting intently for an answer.

"It's 2009," I answered, wiping at my cheeks.

Dr. Randall's expression never faltered, but there was a flicker of doubt in his gaze that did nothing to soothe my fears. Which is why I refused to look over at Edward, despite how hard he was squeezing my hand.

"Isabella," the doctor said in a soothing voice.

Iambeagle unfolds a story that leaves you screaming, “It isn’t fair!” after every.single.chapter. It literally feels like you’ve been punched in the gut each time she reveals more details of Bella’s painful past...and equally painful present.

But this Bella...she’s tenacious in her quest to take back what she believes is rightfully hers, and nothing or no one will stand in her way. Even when the biggest obstacle she faces is the very man she wants the most.

I walked over to where he stood, pulling his hand into mine. "You're not even trying. Fuck, you just admitted you don't even love that girl, yet you're still fighting this!"

"Because you're going to break me all over again, Bella! Christ, don't you get that?" he snapped, yanking his hand out of mine. "There's nothing left for you. You took it all."

See what I mean? Gut punch. And Edward will just break your heart. Iambeagle throws in a couple of chapters from his point of view, but it's the little strategically placed snippets of one or two sentences from him that will cause a full-fledged lip quiver.

If you’re not reading this already, then please to be getting over there and rectifying that right now! I promise you won’t be disappointed with the nine chapters already posted or the awesome journey that lies ahead!!

Cutlass by TKegl
Isabella Swan is certain notorious pirate, Edward Cullen, murdered her father and stole his prized cutlass. Out for revenge, she sneaks onto his ship, but Captain Cullen claims she has the wrong man. A tale of the search for truth…and treasure of course. Twilight - Rated: M

Reviewed by: Obsmama

When I first saw Tkegl chatting about writing a pirateward, way back last summer on twitter I was so excited by the idea.  A swashbuckling adventure with our favorite cast just sounded so fun and just the idea brought a smile to my face.  It was a big idea and one not many authors could really do justice.  But wow Tkegl not only delivers she  exceeded my expectations.  She creates such a  rich tapestry with her words.   I see the characters not as Edward and Bella, but I really see One Eyed Eddie ( though I would never call him that to his face) and Isabella the strong willed, feisty siren that has flipped the Black Arrow on it’s head.  The crew and all the beautiful locations around them really do add such a body to this tale.

“Only a handful of fluffy white clouds marred the wide expanse of blue sky as the Black Arrow sliced through the choppy waters of the Atlantic. Captain Edward Cullen tilted his head, eyeing with approval the full sails billowing overhead and the full crew busily at work on deck. He stood, legs splayed widely, with a compass open in one palm, the fingers of his other hand wrapped lightly around the wheel. He allowed the ship its head more than trying to force it in a specific direction.”

There are so many moments that I have caught myself laughing out loud while reading this.  Her characters are multifaceted and so entertaining.  Isabella is looking for revenge, her father was killed and she has evidence that the ship’s Captain Edward Cullen is the responsible party.  The high jinks that occur range from cross dressing to attempted murder, a giant prison cell mate named Jake, and having to avoid the shudder inducing attention of Newton a deck hand. The UST is crazy between Edward and Bella with both wanting to hate the other and the attraction between them only causing them to be more and more furious with the other.

“Still, Edward readily conceded that kissing Isabella Swan wasn't quite as distasteful as he'd imagined it would be.She was soft – surprisingly so, considering her stiff demeanor – her body forming around his in a rather distracting way. She gasped in outrage when he first touched his lips to hers, her fingers gripping at his shoulders to keep her balance. She struggled slightly, but then...Then...Then she softened even further, a quiet sound forming in the back of her throat as Edward's hands clutched at the back of her scalp and he tilted his head to deepen the kiss. Her lips parted, breath mingling with his, and Edward felt a shot of heat plunge straight to his groin. He snarled under his breath, tongue dipping out to taste her as his arm tightened around her waist.”

The story is 6 chapters in and updates each Tuesday, come and board the Black Arrow with us and watch this adventure unfold.  So many mysteries tied in to the story and so many questions left to answer.  I for one can’t wait to see it all unfold.

Love In My Box by CosmoandMarvar
Bella's an intellectual free spirit and Edward is a reserved, slightly geeky med student. They have a brief, but intense encounter on Sp Brk in Miami. Can they find true love through emails? There will be lemons and laughs. Look who's writing this! Twilight - Rated: M

Reviewed by: Twilover 76

I was really late to the party, but Love in My Box became an instant favorite the moment I started reading.  Have you ever had a fic that you simply couldn’t put down once you started? Well this was one of those for me.  Cosmo and Marvar kept me in stitches, with their author notes being almost as amusing as the narrative itself.

The story is told through a series of letters, emails, and varying POVs, and takes you from a spring break hook-up in Miami to a long-distance blossoming romance from Dartmouth to UC Berkeley.  Bella and Edward are both adorably awkward, yet perfect for each other.

Edward is a medical student, who takes everything literally:

I'm glad you remembered me. . .and everything, though I wish it had been more pleasurable for you. I'm sorry if I was inadequate in any way. I blame my lack of experience for my shortcomings. Rest assured, I am currently studying to rectify this situation – and I am a very good student. (I hope I don't appear immodest by that statement)

Thank you for saying I have 'game.' You make me act like a different person. Most people perceive me as an 'Edwardbot' - a study machine without friends. I do actually have one friend named Emmett who says I "have a stick up my ass." (Please forgive the swearing. It was a direct quote.) I'm attempting to loosen up and be more fun under his guidance. His first idea (to go to Miami) was unbelievably successful. I am also attempting to use the Urban Dictionary's word of the day to appear more fun in my everyday conversations.

So, on that note. . . Bella, you have a fantastic body. . . you definitely don't have a 'muffin top.' (fat hanging over your waistband).

Bella is shy, foul-mouthed (but trying to convert), and free spirited:

I don't know that I would say that I 'like' profanity…just that I use it a lot. It's a force of habit, I suppose. If you hang out in coffee houses with moody and emo pseudo-poets long enough, your vocabulary can become quite vulgar. (I went through a phase during undergrad.) It was unfortunate and I have since learned my lesson. Men who hang out in coffee houses aren't artistic and tortured…they're douche-bags. In an effort to please you, I have abstained from cursing since my last email. I hope that makes you happy. Does it?

Anyway, I'm much more interested in this certain 'situation' where you think it would be hot for me to say a dirty word. What situation would that be? What dirty word would you like me to use? I think it would be scorching hot for you to tell me…in detail. Be descriptive. This would be a great way to make use of your literary devices.

I'm happy to know that you aren't 'studying' with anyone else. I mean, I know that we are just typing and getting to know each other, but Edward, I think about you all the time. It pleases me to know that you are thinking of me, too. If you have a question about the female anatomy, you could always just ask me. I do have all the 'girl-parts' you're trying to learn about. Also…please don't worry about my not getting the 'full experience.' I assure you…the partial one was enough to intrigue me…obviously.

Edward, with his strongly-worded letters and diagrams to Bella about proper eating regimens, quickly became one of my favorite fic Edwards out there.  What can I say? I have a thing for gorgeous, sweet nerds.

Not to mention he can be sexy as hell, even though he doesn’t know it.

I have been working on my body since Jessica dumped me for being "less than manly" and not good in bed. Well, to be truthful, she called me a pussy and a lousy fuck. I was trying to be tactful while explaining. It's caused me to take a look at myself - to see a skinny lab rat that cared about nothing except school. I never put any effort into that relationship and was not really sad that it ended. I am actually thankful to her for opening my eyes to my shortcomings. Now I was putting my plan to action - and I am excellent at planning. Emmett calls it 'Operation Studward.' How embarrassing.

But it has produced results. (ie. Bella. Sex. Miami.)

He's basically giving me a make-over. Emmett is quite agreeable about the whole process, only making fun of me once when I questioned the need for a haircut that makes me look like I've just participated in a sexual tryst. He claims 'sex hair' makes women drop their panties. That seems rather unsanitary, but I don't say that.

"Let's do the crunches off the incline bench, Edward. Your abs are starting to look good."

"Yes, my rectus abdominis muscles are more defined. I need to work on my transverse abdominis, however." Emmett looks at me blankly.

I lift up my shirt to show him what I'm talking about. I run my hand over the muscles in question as I speak.

"See. Right here is where I need some more work."

Emmett guffaws, "Oh, Eddie. This is working like gangbusters. That girl on the treadmill is losing her shit over you."

I glance over at the girl who does look like she's taken a euphoria-inducing substance. Should I call the authorities?

"What did I do?"

"Well, you were fondling your sweaty abdomen and tracing the 'v' into your shorts."


Along with the endearing romance of Bella and Edward, there are plenty of comical family and friends to help complete the story.  Alice marries her shaman-style professor, Jasper; Rose puts Emmett on a sex embargo; Esme drinks like a fish and loves sex talk; and Bella’s parents are the classic “opposites attract”, where Renee is a carefree hippie and Charlie is a no-bullshit Republican.

By the way, the forbidden gun closet sex when Edward goes to meet Bella’s parents is particularly steamy.

Go check out this sweet, lemony, romantic, and hilarious (now complete) fic, and leave these pretty ladies some love. You won’t be sorry.  Just make you have no witnesses when tears are rolling down your face from laughing so hard. 


  1. LIMB is absolutely, positively one of my favorite stories ever, and Twilover, you totally hit on so many of the reasons why! Yes, their A/N's are as amusing as the story, and I looked forward to their banter each chapter so much! I was always laughing my ass off before I even started reading! Love those gals! And, oh, this Emmett is one of my faves, too. So hilarious you'll pee yourself with his smart mouth and hilarious shenangians. And Twilover is so right--this is an amazing, geeky, thoroughly delicious Edward! The whole story is just full of win from the very first chapter until the very end. But don't let the comedy fool ya, cuz as funny as it is, there are plenty of heartwarming moments, too, and oh, god, the lemons are some of the best I've ever read. I didn't want it to ever be complete! You won't be sorry you read it, ladies, and don't forget to check out their other stories, too, cuz they're all amazing!

  2. Pocket change was wonderful! I trad it in one sitting and was in tears for most of it, it's great y'all should give it a go!!!;)

  3. Pocket change was wonderful! I trad it in one sitting and was in tears for most of it, it's great y'all should give it a go!!!;)