Sunday, January 1, 2012

TLS Fics of the Week 12/29/11 - 1/4/2012: The Fab Five reviews are UP HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A Drink with the Girls by Cara No
This is Bella's story. She loves her life. It's very uncomplicated… until she falls in love with the man she has a very pleasurable arrangement with. Silly, 'cause they have no reason to worry.
Reviewed by Lisa A. Hollett

I have a dirty little secret to share that could get me kicked out of girl-hood altogether. Shhh…don’t tell anyone…*whispers*…I don’t really like Sex and the City. There, I’ve said it. I own my truth. Shun me if you must.

So when CaraNo put in the disclaimer of her newest fic that if you didn’t like SatC you may not like A Drink with the Girls, I was a little worried. But, as her beta of the three months, I owed it to her to do my job regardless. And, man, do I love my work!

I was wrong to be worried, even a little. Because for me, this story is nothing like SatC; it’s a CaraNo original, full of sass and sparkle and sex. Really good sex.

Seriously, I love my life.

I'll be twenty-five next week. I currently have two jobs that I love, I have good and loyal friends, I have the sexiest fuck-buddy that God ever created, I adore my apartment, and I have my own drink. What's not to love?

"I think Royce is cheating on me!" Rose blurts out.


"Hold that thought," I say, putting up my index finger. "I just need to go to the bathroom first."
I hurry.

Once I'm there, I pull out my phone.

Do you have time tonight? I need it. ~Bella. 

It never takes long for him to answer, and my pussy is always ready for him.

For you? Absolutely, baby. I'll be home after ten. Spending the night? – Edward. 


If you don't mind. See you later ;) ~Bella. 

Bella works for a women’s magazine writing a relationship column. She shakes her head at her girlfriends’ perception of love, sex and marriage. They keep trying to find (and keep) “The One”. Meanwhile, she has the perfect arrangement with Edward: fuck-buddy, friend with benefits, personal sex god. They get together for one reason and one reason only. Pleasure.

Bella and Edward love the way things are between the two of them. They don’t get involved in each other’s lives, they don’t share friends. They just meet up when they need each other. Which, luckily for us, the readers, is often.

Our girls' night continue like it always does. We discuss, we gossip, we banter, we argue, we drink.

Then, when our night is over for this time, I hurry home to pack a bag.

I also "forget" to put on clothes after changing underwear.

My black trench coat will suffice just fine.

And the new pair of heels I bought yesterday.

Here I come, Edward.

If you have read any of CaraNo’s amazing previous or current work, you know that girl can write some hot, hot stuff! And this story is certainly no exception. She pitched it as having little to no angst and not a whole lot of plot, so it’s the perfect bit of fluff to brighten your day. I do a happy dance when new chapters arrive in my inbox.

Bella and Edward pride themselves on knowing as little of each other’s lives outside of the bedroom as possible. But their worlds start to collide when she accidentally meets one of his friends. And when she drunk dials him from her birthday party, he doesn’t have the strength to stay away. So he doesn’t.

His mouth is twitching a little, showing amusement. Same goes for his eyes. Yeah, he's amused, but there's something else, too. In my tipsy state, it's sorta hard to be sure. Could it be hesitation? Maybe. This is new, after all. He's here. At my birthday party. Where all my friends are gathered. Basically, he's entered my personal life.

It's been an unspoken rule for so long. No questions asked. No answers given.

I know I started this tonight. I was the one who called him, but Alice's question from last week is messing with my head. The question about if Edward and I would be perfect for each other in a relationship since we're so compatible in the bedroom.

A shiver runs through me when he dips down, all while sliding his hands from my hips to my waist.
His lips brush against my ear. "Happy birthday, beautiful."

I. Fucking. Melt.

Needing to actually steady myself, I grip his biceps, firm biceps. Christ, I'm cooked and done.

I breathe him in, accidently touching my lips to his neck. He tightens his hold on my waist, and when he slides his nose along my jaw, I'm pretty sure I whimper. Yeah, I did, 'cause he curses and presses our bodies together. Edward has a thing for my sounds, which is good since he's causing them.

I vaguely register the song change.

I drop an openmouthed kiss on his neck.

I feel his sharp exhale against my cheek.

"You okay with me being here?" he asks huskily, lips still attached to my skin. All I can do is nod, which I do. Quite furiously. I'm more than okay with him being here. "Good." Oh, God. I feel surrounded by him. "Dance with me, Bella?"

"Yes," I moan.

"Fuck, baby," he groans, and then his mouth covers mine.

Do yourself a favor and check out A Drink with the Girls. It’s a story that will make you smile, make you hot, and make you long for your own personal sex god (if you weren’t doing that already). Only six chapters are posted, so you can probably catch up before going out to get your own drink on for New Year’s Eve. CaraNo is a new mom (as of this writing, Kenzie is six days old!) so it may be a little while before the next chapter is posted, but I know once you read what she’s written so far, you’ll join those of us who are already panting for more.

Bear Valley Ranch by Lady Gwynedd 
A continuation of The Mail Order Bride, picking up Edward and Bella's life in the Colorado frontier as their fortunes, their family and their loves grew. 
Bear Valley Ranch is a continuation of the Mail Order Bride, so you need to read the Mail Order Bride first for the best story experience.

Bear Valley Ranch is a beautiful story with rich characters and authentic details.   It’s a historical fic set in the late 1800s with Edward and Bella who are happy, in love, and raising their family on their western cattle ranch.  Each chapter is about something new, with the the story building on previous events.
Lady Gwynedd does a great job of researching her historical information and making the story
an entertaining history lesson.
Edward in this story is sweet, protective, and confident as he forges a life for them in the Old West.  The Bella in this story is loving, smart, and brave.  It’s great to see Bella and some of the other women establish strong roles for themselves in spite of that period in history. Some of the characters are OCC and many will move you to tears with their victories and hardships.
Some of the OOC characters include people you might know from vintage TV Westerns, such as the beautiful Miss Kitty, who unexpectedly makes Bella feel jealous and insecure.  There will be drama!
One of the most moving parts of the story is when Carlisle learns a humbling lesson from the nearby Native Americans who try to save his life and open his eyes to the things that really matter.
The last three chapters of the story are outtakes for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and future and take the story 25 years forward from the beginning.
We are so fortunate to have Lady Gwynedd be part of this fandom and contribute these wonderful and entertaining historical fictions centered on Edward and Bella.

Review by Jedigirl SC

Insatiable Desires by ItzMegan73
What happens when the paths of two highly intelligent hypersexuals cross?

Review by: ManhattansSoWrite

Digging through the medical files stashed on her mother's desk, Bella discovers that Edward Cullen from her group therapy sessions is classified as a "sexual deviant" with "excessive hypersexual disorder," and she knows instantly that she has found her match. Unfortunately, she isn't sure which of the guys from the group is named Edward.

With a mix of humor and plenty of psychobabble from Renee, ItzMegan73 is weaving another great tale to keep readers checking their inboxes for updates on this work-in-progress. As the daughter of a psychiatrist who sacrificed their relationship for a career, Bella discovers sexual gratification at an early age; it's something Renee discovers when she finds her thirteen-year-old getting off with two teen boys in the bedroom closet.

By the time Bella is ready to start her senior year, she has been forced out of multiple schools due to the consequences of her voracious sexual appetite. As she discovers the mysterious Edward Cullen's records, she knows she needs to get ready to start a new high school and score herself a ride on Mr. Perfect.  Only when she arrives to class does she find that Cullen is the zit-faced jerk with a love of dying his hair black.

Wrong Edward had turned and changed course unexpectedly, and in a matter of footsteps, our paths would cross.

Suddenly, I was angry. I was angry at the effort I'd expended. I was angry at how stupid I looked asking after this freak. I was angry that I was not stuck at this backwards place for my last year of high school without a prospect in sight. But mostly I was angry at the fact that all of the plotting and planning and yearning for the Edward Cullen of my dreams had somehow distracted me and I hadn't had sex in almost three months!

As if he could feel the intense hatred rolling off me, Wrong Edward looked over at me fleetingly as he passed. When he saw my looking, he turned his head quickly and shook the curtain of hair back into place.

"He looks like he stinks," I muttered.

Jessica & Co. had moved on, confident in the fact that I hadn't arrived to infringe on their little po-dunk crushes.

And so there I stood, at the conclusion of my first week at Lincoln High, in much the same condition I'd arrived in: lost, looking and lonely.

Check out the story to see how these two eventually come together (three times in one night their first time in her bed), what struggles they've overcome beyond how to sneak out for typical teen parties (finding her G spot isn't one since Cullen discovers it quickly and masterfully), and why far too many professionals in the Forks medical community are all too eager to stick their noses in the sex life of these two teens. Will Bella's mother come to accept her arguments that girls should be able to enjoy sex as much as boys without the double standards and judgement?

No, it is imperative that she take the dirty, little societal stain, that in this case is me, and make it socially acceptable.

More importantly, will Bella start to see that maybe she really is dodging some issues with her flippant attitudes towards emotional connections?

His kisses communicated that that was all he wanted from me: just to give; to be close.

It was the first time I had ever experienced that: unconditional kissing – and I'd be lying if I said I didn't love it.

"Thank you…for tonight," Edward whispered as he smoothed my hair away from my face. I looked away from his intense gaze, not sure of what to do with his kindness.

"Yeah, well, just don't do something shitty and make me regret it," I chided him.

"No, I'm serious," he said firmly, seeing through my sarcasm. "I don't have a lot of people in my life that I can trust. It means a lot to me that you're going out on a limb for me. A lot of people wouldn't."

I averted my eyes from his and nodded. I didn't know what to do with his sincerity and gratitude, so I simply nodded and then I went back to kissing him. He seemed to understand what I was doing, because he didn't try to talk anymore.

Break out your Rabbits as you catch up with Bella and Edward's Insatiable Desires.

Mergers and Acquisitions by Touchstone67
When Edward pays for a night of harmless fun, he didn't expect to get the purchase of a lifetime. Will his nights in Seattle change his whole life in Chicago? Full length story for the second place winner in the Slash/Backslash Contest. Rated M, J/E

Review by Mina Rivera
Mergers & Acquisitions was the first Jazzward slash WIP that I dived into. I had already finished reading a Jacob/Edward completed slash fic when I was pointed to this unique story.

For those who enjoy slash fics as much as I do, this fic is definitely a must read. It has some of the hottest lemons and not to mention there is actually a plot! The characters have depth and each one of them has a history that reveals itself with each chapter.

In this story Jasper is a prostitute. Yes, you read that right. He gets paid to have sex, either by men or women. He is the wet dream, the sex god, the sex machine, he is pretty good at it and he fucking knows it. He used to be in the street until he was scouted by Tanya, a Madame, for her high end customers.

"So, what do you think?" she smiled, turning to me. Looking out the window over the Seattle skyline, I saw the sun setting, the last rays of the day peeking out behind the clouds.
"It's great…."
"But?" she encouraged, knowing I was not finished.
"Seems a bit too good to be true," I finally said, still not looking at her, and shoving my hands deep into my pockets.
"Well, Jasper, I believe in treating my employees very well. They are my bread and butter so to speak, and should be treated respectfully."
The hardwood floors and beautiful view were more than 'respectfully'.
"That being said," she walked over to stand next to me, her hand on my arm forcing me to look at her. "If you do work for me, you will do as I say and go where I tell you to go. In return, I will treat you well, but there are conditions you must meet and follow."
Nodding, I remembered the so-called conditions she had told me at the coffee shop. My position required me to be at her beck and call six days, or rather nights, a week to entertain clients. This entertaining could be anything from dinner to spending the entire night with them. In turn, she would provide me with a cell phone, apartment, gym membership, a percentage of my intake and a car and driver.
"Oh, you will also have a credit card," she informed me, pulling out an American Express Gold Card. In awe, I stared at the card. I had only seen them on the sides of the buses that drove by me as I sat in car while some john had his lips around my cock. "For all work related expenses, such as condoms, clothing, dinners, lube…toys."
After almost spitting my coffee out, I quirked an eyebrow at her, "Excuse me?"
"Toys. Vibrators, dildos, bondage….toys."
I wasn't in fucking Kansas anymore.
"Are you still interested?" she asked, placing the card back in her wallet.
Fuck yes.

Then, there’s Edward, a successful man that justifies him being in the closet because of his job. He is afraid his sexuality will define his character and his career, not to mention that he is scared he’ll let down his family. It is a close friend, the only who knows he is gay, that leads him to a certain ‘service’ website.

Leaning across the small table, he rested on one elbow. "Ever thought about just telling the truth? This is no way to live, man."
"We've had this discussion, Emmett. Drop it, please." I pleaded, glancing around at nearby tables for eavesdroppers.
Sighing, he leaned back in his chair once more. "Alright, whatever you-," he stopped abruptly, a look of excitement crossing his face. That look always scared me.
"I think I may have just the solution for you," he smiled, turning around to pull something out of his coat pocket. Turning back to me, he handed me a small white business card, in black writing it said 'Denali Escorts' with a telephone, fax, email and website address.
Like, escorts?
"Emmett, what is this?"
"Trust me, dude. They have something for all...preferences," he smirked proudly, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
Leaning across the table, I whispered fiercely, "Are you trying to tell me that I should get a hooker?"
"Not a hooker, an escort, there is a difference."
Why did people keep telling me that? 
"They both get paid for sex, where is there a difference?" I asked, still whispering.
He smiled again. "An escort can accompany you to any event, give you mind blowing sex, and fulfill all of your needs without risk of getting you sent to prison or endangering your health. Huge fucking difference."
"I can't believe you are...wait a minute, you keep their card in your pocket?" I asked incredulously.
"You never know when you will need to help out a friend," he gestured to me.
With a huff, I fell back against my chair, blocking out the sounds of other patrons and dishes clanking as I studied the card once again, considering Emmett's words.
He was right; I did need to get laid. Struggling to provide myself with one orgasm every three days was just not working out anymore. I could easily pay for the escort with my personal credit card, and no one would ever find out. In Seattle, I was miles away from home and anyone I knew. Even if someone from Lisoga spotted me, they would have no idea that my hired companion wasn't simply a friend.
"You're thinking about it, huh?" He inquired, nodding his head because he knew I was.
I shot a glance before looking back at the card. Then something dawned on me. "You've used them before?" I questioned.
"Just because I look this good doesn't mean I want just any skank from a local bar," he winked, lifting his beer bottle to his lips. After finishing, he said, "Seriously, dude, you deserve it. Fucking live a little, yeah?"
I nodded, not really sure how to reply before slipping the card into my wallet, laughing when I heard Emmett's enthusiastic 'yes'. Returning his fist bump, my mind was racing at top speed, running different scenarios of how my time in Seattle would be spent.
Live a little, indeed.

Jasper and Edward meet and there is an immediate attraction between the two of them. They both know what they are and how they are defined by society, but that won’t stop them from pursuing something much deeper than just physical release and companionship.

But this story is not only about Jasper and Edward.

We meet Peter, Jasper’s first client in his high end new job. He’s a practical business man who is an out and proud and feels no shame to be seen with Jasper in public. And we also meet Riley, Jasper’s fellow whore on the streets. Jasper describes him as a beautiful man with lots of potential and who knows exactly how to seduce you and who, unfortunately, is a slave of his vices.

All these characters are brought together by the same reason: sex.

Feelings will develop, friendships will get stronger, alliances will be created and you will never be able to see a piano, bed, elevator or a bar the same way again.

I encourage you to read this fic, even if you have never read slash before. I assure you won’t regret it. Touchstone67 is a fabulous writer and she will take for the ride of your life.

And once you are done with M&A, go check out the sequel: The Whore and The Gentleman, starring Peter and Riley. I personally cannot wit to read more of this sequel, I have a thing for Toushstone67’s Riley… you will see why once you read M&A.

Happy New Year! Until next time, xoxoxox



The Single Game by Awesomesauce76
New girl Bella Swan is finally ready to start dating again, but the only boy she's interested in is too shy to even talk to her. Why are her friends convinced that the answer to her problem is some crazy party game… with kissing? AU/AH, BPOV
Reviewed by SusanQ

I love a high school story and I love a story with a sweet Edward, so The Single Game already has the perfect hook; but add to that the premise that new-girl Bella is looking for some sexy-times and said sexy-times are going to be written by Last Tango in Forks author, AwesomeSauce76, and you’re looking at the ultimate fanfic trifecta!

Our story begins when Bella moves to Forks for a change of scenery. She can’t get away from her former friends and boyfriend soon enough and she really doesn’t miss Phoenix, but she does miss sex.

Two months in and Bella confides in her best friend, Alice that she’s ready to begin dating.

"Well… when I was with my ex—"

"Riley?" Alice knew I had broken up with someone before I moved, but not all the gory details.

"Yeah." I grimaced at the sound of his name. "Anyway, we used to… a lot.
And while I don't miss him, I miss sharing that with someone."

"So you're horny," she said, nodding in understanding.

"Not just that," I laughed, shaking my head at her directness. "Yes, I miss it… but I've never been one to sleep around and I haven't really noticed any good boyfriend prospects so far."

"So you miss playing Slap & Tickle, but there's nobody here you wanna play Slap & Tickle with, is that right?"


"But Bella, there are a lot of cute single guys here. I bet you could have any of them you wanted."

"I don't know about all that, but I do know that I've been so gun-shy about dating again that I haven't really paid any attention to anyone. Now that I think I might be ready to try again, I have no idea where to start."

"Ooh!" she gasped, ripping a sheet of paper out of her notebook. "Let's make a list!"

And make a list they do. No jocks, no smarmy guys, no manwhores…

I watched as she thought for a moment and wrote Eager virgin ready for training in the left column.

"Nicely put," I chuckled.

"I thought so," she smiled brightly. "Anything else?"

"Yeah…" I tapped my chin in thought. "Maybe a little shy. No more cocky jerks."

Enter shy, eager-virgin-ready-for-training, lab partner, Edward. The problem is Edward doesn’t seem to give Bella the time of day. He never talks around her; she mistakes his shyness for disinterest. In fact, she’s pretty sure he thinks she’s annoying.

"Why doesn't Edward ever say anything?"

"Who, Cullen?" She looked at me like I was crazy. "What do you mean? He talks."

"No, I know he can talk, what I want to know is why he chooses not to."

"Bella, I honestly don't know what you're talking about. There are times we can't get that boy to shut up."

"Bullshit," I blurt out bluntly.

"No, really. Don't ever get him and Emmett talking about fucking video games or computers; I swear to God, they never stop. Then Jasper will go and bring up some dumb shit like Start Wars or Lord of the Rings, and then it starts all over again."

"Then why the hell won't he ever talk to me?"

"He doesn't? I thought I saw you two talking last night at practice."

"No. What you saw was me talking and him blowing me off."

Alice realizes that Edward can’t talk to Bella because he like likes her, and she does her best to convince Bella.

Alice, Rosalie and Emmett come up with a plan to get the two together by playing (and fixing) “The Single Game”—a spin-the-bottle like game that matches up single guys and girls—at Emmett’s party in his basement. Edward and Bella get the slip of paper with “Seven Minutes in Heaven” and spend those seven minutes getting to know each other better in the privacy of a storage closet.

"Don't be afraid to kiss me back," I spoke against his soft flesh. "I want you to."

"I'm sorry," he groaned between small kisses. "I'm just… so fucking turned on right now… I can't think straight!"

"Good!" I gasped around his mouth. "You think too much. Just go with it!" I flicked the tip of my tongue over his lips and he shuddered against me, growling low in his chest before opening up to me. He slowly stroked his tongue across mine, feeling the slick textures rubbing against each other for the first time.

By the loud moan he sent into my mouth, followed by the way he urgently shoved me back into the shelves… I'm going to guess that he liked it.

Eager, right? This story is off to a great start. The chapters are short and it updates frequently. I’m looking forward to Bella teaching her enthusiastic student, and she will be in excellent hands with AwesomeSauce76 doing the lesson plans.

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