TLS Fics of the Week July 5 - July 11, 2011: The Fab Four Reviews

Coincidental Major by m7707
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6709135/1/Coincidental_Major
A tale about a hockey-playing boy who loves his girl. This is Edward's story from Major Misconduct. Twilight - Rated: M
Review by: Fiftyownsme


If you guys haven't read Coincidental Major yet, then you are missing out. Being that this story is Edward's version of  Major Misconduct you do not have to have read MM, to understand Coincidental Major, but you really should.

M7707 has done a wonderful job writing these two stories. I wasn't quite sure how I felt about reading the same stories from different pov's but CM can definitely stand alone. You learn so much about Edward aka Iceward that we didn't see from Bella's pov.

I truly enjoyed this all around, wonderful story. I laughed and cried. There is just something about Edward in High School that does me in. He is so focused on hockey, school and Bella that the heart becomes fond of him. He is cocky but not arrogant, loving but not mushy, and so hot in his hockey gear.
I am going to give you guys an inside look at a few of my favorite snippets but I won’t give too much away.
Bella and Edward have been at a party after Edward’s hockey team wins the game and these two sneak off to the Volvo. . .
Her mouth opened under mine as soon as our lips touched. I reveled in the rich taste, the pure, shooting sensation, the warm, slick tangle. It was long, slow, and wet; deep, searching, and needy, over and over. I wanted to absorb her, to hang on to this amazing feeling and the warm satisfaction that permeated every part of me. I didn't want it to end. I wanted to make her feel it, too. I tried to concentrate, to see what made her respond and what made her feel the same unbelievable way I did. I must have been successful, because she moaned into my mouth and rose up onto her knees in the seat, leaning over the console and fisting her hands in my hair. All the blood in my body shot to my groin.

 I couldn't remember much after that, just the feel of her, but I came back to myself when I realized my hands were sliding inside her jacket and along her waist, searching for the hem of her shirt. Even in my lust-ridden state I knew it was too soon. When I finally got my hands on her bare skin, under her shirt, I wanted it to mean something. I wanted to be able to take my time, to make sure she enjoyed it as much as I did, and I really wanted to be able to actually see her.


M7707 makes me want to go back to High School. She makes me want to do everything different and fall in love again. What the hell am I saying? I just want to make out like this in the Volvo with Iceward.

Edward’s thoughts in Coincidental Major are just like a girl’s sometimes and truly something to read. . .
I was dating Bella Swan. More than that, we had a relationship – a boyfriend-girlfriend, getting-to-be-best-friends kind of relationship. I spent as much time with her as I could. If I wasn't in school, at practice, or sleeping, I was with Bella.
Iceward knows how to my romantic and a badass hockey play....


When Bella tells Edward for the first time that she loves him these are his thoughts. . .

A low hum filled my ears and I felt lightheaded and tingly. A sharp, almost metallic taste flooded my mouth as adrenaline dumped into my system. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I couldn't believe I'd heard her correctly. I didn't want this moment to ever end.

She loved me. Bella loved me. My heart started again, pounding in frantic, heavy beats. It hurt, hammering and painful and so shockingly awesome that I couldn't draw breath. I tried, but my lungs weren't working. My mind was frozen. My heart…my heart pounded.
She stared at me as I tried to respond, struggling free of my arms and off my lap when I remained frozen in utter shock, the exhilaration that filled me paralyzing and complete. Her hands fluttered at her sides and she spun to face me. I knew I needed to say something, admit the overwhelming intensity of what I felt for her, but my mind and body didn't want to break the spell. I wanted to savor the pure bliss of the moment she told me she loved me.
This is just an amazing scene and Edward has a little humor going on too.

For those of you who are Emmett fans, as I, you’re going to fall in love with him, as well, in this story. He is Edward’s older brother and is in college. He is a bit of a prankster and here we see Edward warning Bella about him.
"Is he really that bad?" she asked curiously.

"Worse," I told her with a grin. "Emmett is a force of…well, a force of something. He's probably the smartest person I know, but he's just…Emmett. I hope you don't end up running from the house screaming." She didn't believe me, but she'd never experienced Emmett. "Bella. Just remember to not take anything he says seriously." A thought struck me. "And if says he has something for you, whatever you do, don't take it. Come get me right away." I couldn't begin to imagine the stunts he'd try to pull when he realized he had a new victim.
"Really?"
"You have no idea." She really didn't. "Promise me."
"Okay. If it makes you feel better."
  
There are no words for this Emmett...

This is just a wonderful story. If you like High School Edward and Bella, you will love this one. There is just a little angst but nothing too bad. M7707 is an amazing author and Coincidental Major can stand alone but I recommend reading Major Misconduct also. You can't go wrong.
Reviewed by:

Fiftyownsme

Doctor's Orders by mybluesky
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6107382/1/Doctors_Orders
Nurse Swan vows to never date a doctor, presuming them all to be egotistical jerks. But will she change her mind when she starts a new job and meets the handsome Dr. Cullen, or will his advances only strengthen her resolve? AH, OOC, Rated M
Review by: jaimearkin

First, let me start by saying I know my good flangst… it’s my specialty and Doctor’s Orders fills all my flangst needs.  Don’t know what flangst is? Flangst = fluffy angst.  I love it… I live on it… it makes me happy.  Needless to say – I loved this story from the very beginning.  I followed mybluesky from her first story The Betting Man (which is just as good I might add).  In Doctor’s Orders, told from Bella’s point of view, she introduces us to Bella Swan.  She’s a nurse who is new to Harborview Medical Center, but certainly not new to nursing.  To say she has some set ideas on doctor’s is a minor understatement, but she gets more than she expected at her new job.

I vowed a long time ago to never date a doctor. The prospect is only good in theory – in the real world, they're cocky, they're rude, and they're usually unattractive.

But that was before I got a job at Harborview Medical Center, to be trained by a Nurse Emmett McCarty, to be introduced to a slightly arrogant and still amazingly fuck-hot Dr. Edward Cullen.

This is my little doomsday of sorts, otherwise known as the day my world stopped making sense.

Bella’s history weighs heavily on her throughout this story.  We quickly find out the reason she’s new to the area is because her boyfriend cheated on her, so her solution is to move hundreds of miles away and start over.  I have to say that the Emmett in this story is one of the best I’ve read and mybluesky uses the other characters in this story just as wonderfully.  From Alice to Rose to Esme to Carlisle, no one fits a typical character. Each character in this story was written incredibly well.

We find that Bella has some preconceived notions about doctors and while they may be justified, these impressions she has brought to her new hospital influence her opinions of the doctor’s she doesn’t really know yet.  Enter Dr. Cullen.

He's a young doctor, perhaps in his early thirties, with shocking bronze hair and a strong jaw. His nose is straight, curving slightly at the end, his lips full. His eyes, set beneath thick brows, are downcast and hidden.

He doesn't look at me, doesn't acknowledge me at all, but instead opens a chart and begins to flip through its contents. I quickly try to recover myself before he catches my gaping expression. 

Is this Dr. Cullen? 

Doctors this sexy only exist on Grey's Anatomy.

I lower my gaze and feel a sudden wave of irritation as I recall our conversation from yesterday. He'd been such an ass, yet he probably doesn't even know it was me he'd spoken to. Assholes don't take pretenses like remembering names. But now here he is, avoiding conversation and eye contact and all other normal human interactions.

Here he is, still an ass.

As I said in my opening though… this is flangst.  Mybluesky doesn’t make things easy for this Edward and Bella.  There are obstacles to overcome and issues to deal with and without giving too much away, a little bit of heartfail.  You’ll have to read it to find out what happens though because I’m not telling.

BUT this is the lemonade stand… what kind of reviewer would I be if I didn’t point out the hot hot hot lemons in this story?

He crawls over me, immediately tugging at the button of my capris. When they're undone, I lift my hips so that he can pull them off. As soon as they're discarded on the floor, I pull him back to me, crushing our lips together while I eagerly push his shorts down his legs, taking them as far as I can reach. Edward finishes the job for me, and soon we really are skin to skin, our underwear the last flimsy barrier between us.

Edward kisses my neck again, then my chest, taking one hard nipple into his mouth. "Mmm…you taste so good," he moans. I claw at his hair desperately, panting and eager as his hand slides down my stomach and eventually strokes me through my panties. I arch off the bed at his touch, and Edward looks up at me, his lips still caressing my skin.

"Does that feel good, baby?" he murmurs, and his voice alone is enough to drive me wild. It's been too long…too long.

"Fuck yes…God, it feels so good," I moan. Taking that as his cue, he slowly grabs my panties on either side of my hips and pulls them down. They're carefully maneuvered over my legs and set aside, and his mouth grazes the very bottom of my stomach, just a few painful inches from where I ache the most.
 
His hand is there again, no fabric between us, two fingers slipping through my folds while his thumb grazes my clit. I'm panting uncontrollably as I throw my head back, already close to the edge. I'm not sure if it's Edward or the months spent without sex – or maybe a combination of both – but as soon as his mouth replaces his hand, his tongue tasting me with long, languid strokes, I feel like I'm going to lose control completely.

As good as it feels, I want him inside of me, and not just his fingers. "Edward," I gasp, pulling him back up to me. "Stop…I can't…I want you."
  
I'm probably not making any sense, but Edward seems to understand. He briefly kisses me again before leaning over and snatching open the drawer of his bedside table. He rummages around a few seconds before pulling it out further – too far – and causing the entire drawer to slip from the table and fall to the floor. He curses as it hits the ground.

"What's wrong? What are you doing?" I ask him, sitting up on my elbows to watch. He finally comes back to me, and I swear he looks like he's going to cry.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath. "I don't think I have any condoms."
 
AND even with the ‘no condom cock block’, mybluesky knocks it out of the park. Doctor’s Orders is now complete, so you’re in luck – if you haven’t read this wonderful story yet, you should … now!  If you already have, go back and read it again! It’s definitely on my favorites list for good!

Pinky Swear by Kharizzmatik
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7068944/1/Pinky_Swear
Bella always knew she loved her best friend, but it isn't until she finds out he's engaged that she remembers just how much. How far will she go to make him see he's marrying the wrong woman? A story about finding your heart and losing your head. AH E/B Twilight - Rated: M
Review by: Lady Tx

Summary: Bella always knew she loved her best friend, but it isn't until she finds out he's engaged that she remembers just how much. How far will she go to make him see he's marrying the wrong woman? A story about finding your heart and losing your head.

Do you remember “My Best Friend’s Wedding” (1997) with Julia Roberts? Didn’t you just want to scream at the end when she realized her love affair with Michael was never meant to be and she willingly embraced his marriage to Kimberly? This is not that story… Although the plot is extremely similar and some scenes and elements are directly from the movie, we are promised a very different ending! As Khar herself states, “WTF Michael?” I mean really, who picks Cameron Diaz over Julia Roberts? That’s like Edward picking Tanya over Bella….. NOT going to happen!!!

If you followed Kharizzmatik in the past, especially those who read her award-winning fan fic, “Emancipation Proclamation”, you will immediately find that “Pinky Swear” is a complete switch from her usual story type. It’s listed as “friendship/romance” so if you’re looking for angst this time around, you won’t find it here.

The story is a work-in-progress so you’re able to jump in early and have a delightful update to look forward to each week. Since there are only 4 chapters at the time of this review, I can give you a quick play-by-play. In the Prologue, Bella wakes up hung over, in an unknown t-shirt, with no pants, and in a strange bed with a man; a man with an identity unknown to the reader at this time. Chapter 1 takes us back to 2001 where it’s time for high school graduation, celebrations and separations. Khar tenderly shows the depth of affection between our main characters, Edward and Bella. Chapter 2 brings us back to present day, 10 years later, where we find that: Bella is still single; her best friend, Jake, is gay; and Edward, who she hasn’t seen in years, is engaged to be married. In Chapter 3, Jake helps Bella realize she’s in love with Edward and she heads home to Forks to claim her man! The story will continue with Bella’s crazy journey to win Edward’s love along with some heart-warming moments from their past.

Khar’s writing is enticing, original and vividly portrays the essence of her characters. Whether you have seen the movie or not, Kharizzmatik’s “Pinky Swear” is sure to bring you tears of joy and laughter, along with a much deserved HEA ending for the main characters!

LadyTx

Slaves to the Moon by Skeezon
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6776738/1/Slaves_to_the_Moon
Self-destructive Bella is barely existing when she encounters a troubled, mysterious Edward. They share a past she can't remember and a love he can't forget. Join them as they find each other and escape the hell that follows. Twilight - Rated: M
Review by: Edmazing

I had no idea what I was waiting for me when I opened up Slaves to the Moon. At 19 chapters and under 70 k words for a completed fic… well, I just had no idea how big this story was going to be. Much like Stephanie Meyer, the pivotal scene came to Skeezon in a dream.  It’s the opening scene, and it sucked me in from the start with its haunting imagery.

We find a detached Bella who uses illegal drugs, illicit acts, and her illustrations to distance herself from reality.  Having lost her faith in humanity in general, she’s come to view interactions with others as a form of bartering, a means to exchange services and nothing to be dwelled upon.  This all changes when perched and hidden by the night on her fire escape she is drawn to a hooded figure in the midst of a violent breakdown.

Bella sat still as a statue, her eyes fixated on the raging figure below. Somehow she identified with his physical manifestation of anger and torment. She didn't notice when the moon emerged, only when the boy stopped cold in his tracks as if adhered to the ground. He spun around, his eyes immediately catching her there. She gasped, sucking in the clean, midnight air into her polluted lungs. The pencil slipped from her already loose grip, rolling across the metal and falling over the edge.
As connected as she felt to the molded lead and wood, she did not watch it drop. Instead, she stared down into the face of an angel. She'd never seen such a beautiful, broken face and it took her breath away as he returned her gaze. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registered the soft tapping of the pencil hitting the ground; still she did not look away.
The ink covered skin of his shoulders and arms glistened in the moonlight that bathed him. The images only interrupted by the thin wife beater now clinging to his body. His hair stuck up in every direction, a seeming crown of thorns. Even from high above, she could see the water trails carved into his cheeks. His muscled chest heaved in a quick tempo and she fought hard to keep her own breath calm.
They were two souls, snared by circumstance and slaves to the moon. Though they did not feel like strangers.
Though Bella fights it at first, she eventually gives in to the pull she feels, that she’s felt longer than she remembers, literally.  She suffers from amnesia brought on by traumatic events that Edward was then and, unknowingly, is now tied to.

Shortly after an abrupt move to New York, Bella and her father went missing. After two weeks of captivity Bella was found disoriented and with no memory of her first fourteen years. Becoming ward of the state, she was again shuffled off cross country, hidden away and forgotten about in the system, or so she thinks. Nine years later, her only acquaintances are Alice, her former case worker, and Emmett, a tough guy neighbor that has taken to looking after Bella.

Edward, however, remembers everything about his best friend Isabella, his first love. He remembers growing up together, their first kiss, their first make out, and their hiding spot. And once he’s allowed, he’s able to put names to faces that have been haunting Bella. It’s a slow build with both of them wanting so much from the other, but needing to develop trust.  The steady pace Edward is trying to abide by gets a kick start when the two discover Edward isn’t the only one who remembers Bella.  A dangerous third party that both of them are tied to is closing is looming in the distance. In the battle of fight or flight, flight takes hold of Bella. She isn’t used to believing in anyone, much less that she could be loved. Good thing Edward’s set for fight.

"No you don't. You can't," she whispered. "You can't love me."

Bella lifted her eyes to meet his, russet pools met jade ones. She'd never witnessed more honesty than what was so obviously exhibited on his face.
"I do," he insisted.
She blinked a few times, trying to focus her blurry vision, straining to understand his reasoning. It was then that she felt the hot tears slide down her cheeks and drop onto her chest. Startled by the wetness, she shook her head to clear the tears and whispered a plea for what she needed the most.
"Show me."
Not one second elapsed before Edward crushed his lips to Bella's. He didn't have to think or plan, he only had to feel. So he did. He felt the wetness on her cheeks as his stubble scraped against her skin. He felt the hot, soft flesh of her tongue push and pull against his. Releasing his hold on her, he slid his hands up to her shoulders and brought her flush against his chest. She felt so good, fit so perfectly; Edward couldn't imagine a physical pleasure more fulfilling than her touch.
Bella was crazed with lust and overwhelmed with emotion. She scratched and clawed at his body as if trying to climb up and inside of him. Over the black lines of his ink, she raked pink trails with her fingernails. Edward hummed at the fulfillment of her pain becoming his.
Bella felt his hands trace down her body and cup her ass. She understood what he wanted and without complaint, hopped up and wrapped her legs around him. He placed her on the kitchen counter as she whimpered and cried against his lips.

I could go on and give you the goodies, but really, you need to give in to Slaves to the Moon. It has so many of the things that I love. It’s brief but powerful, and connects vivid scenes that are complete with inner musings and motivations.  It is chalked full of suspense and sexual tension that kept me clicking next. And it is filled with characters that are flawed but easy to understand and care for.