Tuesday, June 14, 2011

TLS Fics of the Week June 14 - 20: The Fab Four Reviews

Meet The Masens by FictionFreak95 aka Jo
Edward Cullen was done with cons until Marcus Volturi pulled him back in for one more job with his new front man, Bella Swan. Edward wants out for good but in a world based on deceit, who can he trust? AH BxE possible lemons if they don't kill each other. Twilight - Rated: M
Review By: Crooked Smile

In the prologue of Meet the Masens, we meet Bella pouring coffee in kitchen, a locket hanging around her neck, unaware of the man who watches her through the window. Breathing hard, enduring the pain she gives him by letting another touch. A man who gave a locket to the woman he loved, who knows how long ago.

“Leave with me”

“I can’t”

“Leave with me. Right now.”

“I can’t do that.”

The story starts with their first encounter at the airport. The instant dislike is mutual. The moment they are about to take a deep breath, happy to get rid of one another; they learn that they have to work together, because they are the best at what they do. What they don’t know is the fact that it’s a match made in heaven.

"Did ya really have to kick me with the fucking heels on?"

"Maybe if you found a way to take your head out of your ass, you'd hear me the next time I ask you to turn…thefucking…air down….then I wouldn't have to kick you."

"Oh I heard you," I told her, creeping up next to her like I was telling the horror story that had become my life. "I just wasn't listening to you." Trying not to, anyway. "Because your voice... makes my goddamn ear drums... want to bleeeeeeed."

I was getting twitchy. I hate twitchy. So I backed off, finally.

"God. You are such an asshole."

"Takes one to know one, lady," I advised her as I rubbed at the bruise I no doubt had on my shin.

The knee-jerk reaction Edward gets from me is the want of kicking him hard and fucking him silly. Not at the same time but without a pause in between, if possible. The fucker is irresistibly funny. He lives on the high of irritating Bella. He knows how to get under her skin and does that a lot, ‘cause he can’t get into her pants. Yet.

"I call the master!"

Bella screamed from somewhere, and I thought about how completely appropriate it was that she'd just assume she was head of the household. I actually had to shake my head at her complete control freak persona. She really needed to lighten up a little.

"Lady who wants to suckmydicksayswhat?" I yelled back, and she said, "What?" causing me to squint my eyes shut and silently laugh at how easily she'd fallen for that old trick.

I chuckled some more. "Bitchandahalfsayswhat!"


My ribs hurt from the soundless laughter coming out of me and, to answer your question, yes, I'm that immature.

"You call the what?" I yelled out, trying to stifle the tears of joy in anxious abatement for her reply.


"Coming!" I yelled in a victorious screech, giving a good, strong fist pump into the air and she hollered back, "ASSHOLE!"

Bella is a tough chick. She wears her confidence with a high chin and fuck-me-boots. Since she is a true professional, she decides to deal with Edward’s quite unique and fairly irritating persona on her own terms, instead of just enduring it.

The movers were already at the house when I pulled into the driveway and had to take a moment or two to myself at sheer size of the house Marcus had put us into. I mean, that thing had to be at least thirty-five hundred square feet plus a three car garage, and I hadn't even seen the back yard yet.

"Holy shit."

I stepped out of Betty slowly, taking it all in. My hand lingered on the door handle a bit when I felt a much smaller hand settle on my lower back.

The sensation of goose bumps that I felt when that hand slid a little lower was unexpected and, even though part of my brain knew who it was, I still turned my head to see for myself.
Bella was smiling up at me slightly and I instinctively smiled back as she pushed up onto her tippy toes to whisper something in my ear.

Also, her chest might have made contact with mine and I might have felt my dick harden.
But only a little bit.

I turned my head a little to hear what it was she had to say, anxious for her lips to be that close to my earlobe, and yet not understanding at all what was happening to me or why I was reacting the way I was. "We're supposed to belong here, Edward, pick your jaw up off of the ground and follow me into the house before you give us away within the first two minutes."

That was all she said before her hand left and then her chest…then she just walked up the path, saying a few things to the movers, never looking back.
And the ass shaking… still nice.

The cover plan is Bella Swan fake marries Edward Cullen, they become Mr. & Mrs. Masen. And we get to Meet the Masens. The fake Masens drive each other crazy. Love to step on each other’s toes. He lovingly calls her Barbie, Bellatrix, Becka, Bianca, she calls him back Idiot, Jerk, Dick,  Asshole. The chemistry between them is like nothing we’ve seen. They can’t stand one another and they can’t help but drawn towards each other. The more they feel desperately weak against the pull, the meaner they become. Without forgetting about their professionalism and the work they have to get done, of course.

The potential of the story is so big and knowing the talent Jo possesses, I can’t wait to see where it goes. Anyone who is familiar with her other works; like Edward Cullen Dick for Hire, Cullen Unscripted, Vines, knows that her writing is so vivid, it makes the reader feel like they are looking at a painting made by mere words. All the details are in there. Nothing shades the other and nothing is out of order. No logical gaps. No detail overloads. A perfect balance. And the humor. The sense of humor she pours into her stories is self-made, coming right out of the source. This is what makes her characters smart, strong, sarcastic and so damn funny. Every update leaves me asking for more. Every answer gives us a brand new question. She manages to say a lot and still keep more hidden.

I offered to move in with her, to cook-clean-dust-organize and just let her write and write and write. She winks and smiles. We’ll just have to wait the story unfold itself on its own time.

 There Is A Light by BellaDonna Cullen
This was 1987; before the Internet, before Twitter, before Facebook – this was back when it was still possible for people not to know about things: big things - like bands, and little things - like G-spots. AH, ExB, with some other parings along the way. Twilight - Rated: M
Review By: Edmazing Cullen

Gah. How do you start a review for BellaDonna Cullen? Just in case you aren’t familiar with BDC, let me introduce her and sum her up for you real quick. She is a class act that still knows how to get down and dirty with the best of them. She is warm, supportive, funny, and well informed on current (and not so current) events. And she’s a music lover who knows her stuff. And it shows.

On top of giving you deep, descriptive stories that sweep you up and transport you, she gifts you with songs that you can hum and sway along to. Sing and decode. Live through and reminisce in.  There is a Light is a perfect display of her talent.

Bella Swan is teenage girl living in a remote town.  Without any word from the outside world except what she can glean from the kids at school. Sound extreme? Then you don’t remember 1987. And when a cute guy from another scene asks you if you know who The Masens are, what do you do? You lie. And then you rush to learn whatever you can about them.

I rushed back to Newman's right after I bought the cassette and I popped it into my Walkman and started from the beginning. I picked out as many of the lyrics as possible, and paused the music every few seconds to jot down the lines in a tiny little notebook as I took inventory in the stockroom.

I'd told Seth I knew The Masens, and I had this one tape to help me fake my way through.

The occasional falsetto was jarring, and the recording sounded fuzzy and rough and unpolished, and it all combined to make studying the lyrics really hard. Not to mention that there was some yelling and lots of unexpected tempo changes and there was mumbling, and talk of pinning and mounting and underwear and death.

I couldn't say I liked it, but I wasn't listening in order to like it. It was like an exam, and I was really good at acing exams.

The Masens quickly become more than a new genre to study and absorb. In immersing herself in their words Bella develops a camaraderie and enters into a complicated love triangle with fellow Masen aficionados, Jacob and Seth. It is soon obscured.

"You loved 'm best of all, right?" she asks, bringing the cassette tape closer to her face and scrutinizing it more intently. It's hard to tell if she's referring to the band or to Edward Cullen's picture. It hardly matters.

"Yes," I answer. "The best of all."

The story of how this came to be is told through a story by Bella to her young daughter of her favorite band.  It is filled in with a series of memories that dance around on the timeline that is Bella and Edward. It’s a story of idolization, longing, temptation, love, and heartbreak.

I’ve loved the updates and as soon as I realized there was a song connected, well, I rushed to YouTube to search There is a Light That Will Never Go Out. And just like the other songs she’s used *cough* Can You Tell *cough* that was followed by running to iTunes, listening to the sample a couple of times while I waited for it to download. And once it was on my song list I hit repeat1. I now sway, hum, sing along, loving the song and forever connecting it to this story. I try to figure out where this is going.  Only to get lost in the hook. And I spin and dream. And wait for an update. Two gifts in one, I tell you.  And so much more.

Give it a read and you'll be doing the same thing.  If that doesn’t do it for you, or even better, if it does, head to BellaDonna Cullen’s FFN author’s profile where you can find a complete list of her work, awards, banners, and important links.

Offside by Savage7289
Edward's the star keeper for the Forks High School soccer team, and is already being scouted by leagues overseas. Bella's just moved from Phoenix and interferes with his…focus. Soccerward lives! Rated M for the good stuff, of course.
Review By: Alice S. Sweettits (SweetPoeticJustice)

Should it surprise any of us that Savage7289 has done it again?  I don’t think so! Offside is yet another story by Savage that will reel you in and keep you captivated.

Offside had me hooked from the start. Edward is an egotistical asshole, star soccer player, and golden boy of Forks High School. Like a typical spoiled brat that always gets what he wants, Edward appears to have everyone and everything wrapped around his finger.  If he wants a girl he’s got it, if he is late to class the teacher has no problem with it, a ref makes what he views to be a poor call on the soccer field and with the push of a button on Edward’s cell phone the ref’s career is done and over with.

Pro Teams all over the country and the world are looking into signing him, including the well-known REAL Volturi in Italy.  Carlisle is Edward’s father, Chief of Surgery at Memorial hospital, and Mayor of Forks, Washington. Carlisle is proof that the dick didn’t fall too far from the tree and for lack of better words is a complete douchewad asshole, especially to Edward. Carlisle uses his power to runs things in town and his personal life more like a mob boss than an actual mayor.

 Edward is more than just a soccer player and womanizer; he is highly intelligent with a perfect memory to recall in great detail every moment of every day. His intelligence and his wishes to expand his interests beyond that of just soccer is not something that is not supported by Carlisle in the least. We witness Edward’s attempts at trying to hide his love for drawing, while dealing with Carlisle’s extreme disapproval over Edward taking a few AP classes at school.
The road Edward has ahead of him is not easy. His biggest obstacle comes from his father’s pressured desires for Edward to become the star soccer player that Carlisle never was. The controlling pressures of his father fuel Edward’s desire to expand his interests, and leads to constant tension between the two.

Bella is new to Forks and the daughter of its police chief Charlie Swan. Bella is a sweet girl with an underlying fire and despite Edwards numerous childish attempts to grab Bella’s attention which have always worked on the other girls of Forks high only succeeds in only pissing her off. Bella even refuses to tell Edward her name so Edward nickname’s her Rumplestilsken for obvious reasons, calling her Rumple for short. Things remain tense between the two until one night at a formal city function Edward and Bella are left alone together while their fathers take care of business and Bella witnesses a softer more vulnerable side of Edward.

Savage shows us in Offside, like she does so well in many of her other stories, how care and love can mend even the hardest of hearts. Edward may be an ass but there is a deeper, softer side to him, he is broken and there are reasons for his abominable behavior; although this does not make his behavior ok, it gives you a look into why he is the way he is.  In classic Savageward fashion you hate to love him and love to hate him, but when you begin to see what is below his pompous and self-righteous surface and witness the feelings and attributes Bella’s mere presence can evoke from him, you can’t help but care for the guy and want to mend his broken spirit. Bella’s sweetness, patience and caring along with the undeniable electrical hum and pull they feel to each other become a turning point in Edwards life and shape the way he sees his surroundings and heals.

As the Edward and Bella interaction increases so does our ability to see the true Edward and not the Jerkward that he shows everyone else.  Edward interaction with Bella also helps him to discover parts of himself he had buried deep long ago parts he forgot even existed. At one point Bella rescues him from one of his darkest hours, forsaking the anger she previously felt toward him to be what he needed, to be what no one else had been for him in years. This is a time where Bella’s gently nature brings Edward some self-discovery.

There had been many, many times I'd looked at a girl and wanted to feel my cock in her. In her mouth, in her pussy – I didn't care. I'd kiss her, because it was a means to an end – the end being me getting off. I'd get her off, too, because it just seemed like the polite thing to do, but the main goal was still the same.

But this…this was different.

I just wanted to kiss her.

Be closer to her.

Keep touching her.

Stay here with her.

Never, ever leave.

If someone told me I could stop time – stay right here where I was, feeling exactly how I was feeling, but I would never get off again – I wouldn't even hesitate to agree.

Offside is a fic I would definitely recommend to others, as it keeps you intrigued with the way another layer to the story and characters are revealed each update. Offside reminds us that no one is exactly who they appear to be on the surface, take a deeper look and you may be surprised at what you find; you could find the love of your life.

Soulmates Feeling Belonging by CaraNo
Edward and Jasper returns to Jasper's hometown when Edward lands the position of Forks Hospital's newest therapist. Bella's in need of a therapist to get out of her dead marriage. You can't help who you fall for. ExJ ExBxJ ExB JxA. No angst. EPOV and BPOV
Twilight - Rated: M
Review By: Cullen Confection

I am such an E/B shipper that I rarely deviate, but I can’t resist when an author throws Jasper into the mix.  When Cara first posted a teaser for SFB, I was hooked and couldn’t wait for the story.  It starts out with Bella running into Jasper, an old friend from high school, on her way to see a therapist, who ends up being Jasper’s partner, Dr. Edward Cullen.  From there, Cara weaves a tale of acceptance, support, and longing that immediately sweeps you in and leaves you begging for the next update.  Once Bella realizes that her husband, Jacob, should have been kicked to the curb ages ago, she finally starts feeling again.  Jasper and Edward are friends that show her pure, unconditional love.  All those feelings lead us back to Cara’s skillful writing that makes us feel like we are in the room with them.  This is a teaser from Bella catching Edward and Jasper in a moment:

“Edward kissed his way down Jasper's chest, making him hiss in pleasure, and he didn't stop until he reached Jasper's very hard cock. And the way Edward kissed and licked… it was… earth shattering lust that rushed through me.

Jasper fisted Edward's hair as he started easing Jasper's cock into his mouth… So hot. And from the light of the fire, I could see the glistening of their liquids. Erotic. Intense.”

Can’t you just see it happening and aren’t you ready to join in? Yep, and Bella is too. She finally puts her feelings into words.

“I bet they're fucking. Fucking animals, those two. Damn, I'm jealous. God, I just want him… them. Gah! How fucking messed up this is!
They should have me admitted.
Bella Swan at the age of twenty-four; in love with her gay friend, Edward. And crushing wildly on his life partner, Jasper.
Add sexually frustrated, and you have me.
A goddamn freak show.”

Cara gives the ultimate in her stories – humor, drama, friendships, and sex.

“"Is this her time of the month?" I heard Jasper whisper.
My eyes shot open, and I took real pleasure out of seeing him visibly shrink under my glare.
"Run," I told him in an eerily calm voice.
He obeyed.
Good for him and his nuts.”

So, we only have six chapters so far but this is one story, I rush to read the update and I can’t wait to see where she takes them, especially when Alice enters the picture!

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