Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Fantastic Four Reviews!




Beneath the Undertow by aftrnoondlight
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6968728/1/
Dreams past, circumstance and sacrifice... young Edward and Bella bravely smile through the tears on life's complicated path. A short journey of pure and true devotion... of choosing love above all else. EPOV M for Language & Lemons

Review by LaMomo: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1878091/LaMomo
Who says you need a 100 chapters to make a good story?
Who says you need to relate every minute of every day?
Who says you need to relate events in chronological order?

These are not just idle, merely theoretical question. They are fairly tough and practical points of storytelling and they go hand in hand with some rare, top-notch qualities that only really good writers (or, at least, the ones with vision) have.

Bear with my ramblings a little longer and then it'll be apparent how closely these questions are intertwined with this story. They point at, on one side, the gift of delivering a "concentrated" tale that doesn't drag on for thousands of chapters and, on the other hand, at one of the key points of storytelling - focus.


This is a very short story - only 4 chapters - but it a complete and meaningful universe unto itself. Events are not narrated in chronological order and yet, you never lose track of what happens and when. Flashbacks blend into the present and then back into the future with the ease of a sepia-toned film running before our eyes. This vouches for some crafty writing and storytelling skills - if a flashback is done properly, you don't need to put in notes that read "Start Flashback" or "End Flashback". You just know.


This story is all EPOV. Edward's perspective is always a favourite of mine, on one hand because his mind is so articulate and, depending on the character, he always has a lot of potential for making a great narrator and for sharing the best moments. After all, don't we all want to be in Edward's mind? This Edward is sometimes conflicted, sometimes secretive, sometimes defeated, but never loses hope. He keeps fighting. And most of all, he keeps loving Bella, and never regrets the curved balls tha fate sends his way because he has chosen Bella over a smashing career.


This story only mentions the rest of the "bunch" in snippets and glimpses. We get to see a bit more of Carlisle and Esme, though, because they are the ones that do have an impact on Bella and Edward's life. Carlisle fans - you won't be too happy with this version at first, but he might come round. Esme is her usual understanding and loving self.

Why are the others not so much around as they are in other stories? Because they are not needed. Edward and Bella are all that's needed.

I won't be giving away any more of the plot, since this story is told in such a peculiar way. But my advice is - go read it, because the occasional heartfail will be redeemed by a scintillating ending. And because this poses a challenge to other writers out there - that is, to rethink the way they sometimes decide to tell a story. As with Charlie Swan, "less is always more".




Our Yellow House by CaraNo
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6945394/1/Our_Yellow_House 
Joined at the hip since kindergarten, Edward and Bella shared it all, and at the age of 22, they were happily married, expecting their first child. But when Bella was 4 months pregnant, she was kidnapped. That was 3 years ago - HEA? Yes, I promise. Twilight - Rated: M
review by: Mina Rivera http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2130183/MinaRivera

I’m a fan of CaraNo, she is an amazing writer and she proves with this story that she can write angst like the best. I won’t give away too much on the plot, because this is a story that MUST be on your reading list. She just posted Chapter 11 and I can actually hear the email alert screaming at me to open it. I know many people don’t like to read WIP, but you won’t regret it once you start.

This story completely owns you, breaks your heart, makes you smile and, most of all, makes you wish for an happily ever after that you know will be coming, since the author herself promised so, and I can’t wait to see it come true.

So go read now, there is one hell of a surprise waiting for you in chapter two and don’t forget to stock up on tissues. You’re gonna need them!
“Our Yellow House” by CaraNo is the story of Edward and Bella. They both met in kindergarten and then became best friends and were joined by the hip since then. As time went by, they fell in love and formed a life together until they happily married at the age of 22. They were expecting their first child but, when Bella was 4 months pregnant, she was kidnapped, taken one day when she was on her way home from class to their yellow house.

That was 3 years ago, and since then Edward has been living in limbo, not knowing whether the love of his life and his unborn child are even alive.

This story should come with a major tissue warning. Just the first chapter has your heart breaking for Edward and Charlie who, in his grief for not knowing what happened to his daughter, seeks refuge in his son-in-law. Both men are stuck in the unknown, never moving forward, suspended in time. Defeated.

If there was one look I had perfected over the past few years, it was defeat. I knew that. I didn't care, though. Neither did Charlie, which was why we were so close nowadays. Both of us missing the same girl. Both of us wondering… wishing… afraid to hope. There was never any closure, but I'm not sure we want closure. No, I'm sure we don't. There's still that part that wonders, and that's the part that has me breathing. That's the part that makes sure I get out of bed each day.

The first chapter is narrated in Edward’s point of view; he takes you down memory lane where you can see how Bella and Edward went from best friends to lovers. They shared many things and many firsts.

I love this fic for that back story of how they came to be, all the sweet and sour moments of them together. Edward is constantly remembering every little detail and expression that Bella had for him: the way she talked, the sound of her laughter, the smell of her hair, the depth of her eyes… Every memory counts and Edward holds fiercely on to them. He fights so hard to keep his emotions in check, especially in front of family and friends, except for Charlie, his partner in grief. You can feel Edward’s desperation to find his love, he lives surrounded by the things Bella left behind in their yellow house, and moving on is not an option.

One time. One single time, I've been asked if I shouldn't try to move on. If I shouldn't try to find happiness again.

It was Jasper who asked and he's never met Bella.

That question sent him to the hospital with a fractured jaw.

Everyone who knew Bella, everyone who was there when we grew up together knew that there would never be another for me. It's impossible. She's the only one I can see true beauty in. She's the only one I can love that way, she's the only one I can be with… in that way.

Jasper apologized when I told him that Bella was my Alice, because I knew the eyes he had for his wife. I knew every emotion that lied in the looks he sent her. The ones of complete devotion, adoration, and love.



Ride by kris salvadore
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6253744/1/Ride
Bella wanted to fulfill a fantasy - to be groped inside a crowded train. She gets her wish and more, when a sex-starved ex-convict decides she's fair game. ALLHUMAN. Mature but with plot

review by: crookedsmile101 [http://www.fanfiction.net/~crookedsmile101]

This ride is hot. Fast and hard.

A girl.

Curious.

Let’s see if I can.


A man.

Gracious.

Let’s make sure you fucking can. And again and again and again.

"without warning, he plunged his hand into my skirt and my leggings under it, going straight for my pussy. He started finger-fucking me in earnest, just in and out, in and out, fast and hard. His hand rubbed my clit hard, while it pistoned in and out of my tight, wet, hot pussy and it was insane, so fucking insane. Pleasure, hot and cold, raced all over my body. I didn't know where to concentrate, whether on his long finger fucking me, his breaths, ragged and crazy in my ear or the fact that I'm about to cum in a train full of people. I pressed my ass against his hard cock, grinding it. He pushed against me and I knew he must be dying to ram it inside me…"

Edward is just out of prison.

"Spread 'em, sweetheart."


Bella is a collage student.

"Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't fucking stop. Don't stop fucking."


Their union is hot, fast, hard.

"FUCK! Fuck, fuck, fuck.”


And impossible.

I walked a little faster, not looking back. Whoever it was better not make the mistake of harassing the chief of police's daughter. Everybody knew who I was and I wasn't exactly defenseless. Fuck you, fucker. “What do you want?”

Edward has secrest. Bella has a weakness. Starting with the words;

"Wanna go for a ride?"


"Hold on tight."


Oh God, oh God, oh God!


She tries to stay away.

But he is hard to deny, easy to comply.

And oh so very polite.

"Please, Isabella. Let me fuck you."


And she lets him in. And out. In and out. In and out. In and out.

"Breathe...," he gritted out. "Breathe, dammit."


"No, no more..." The pressure was rising again with him inside me and if I came one more time, I was certain I'd break.


"Just one more, baby, one more." Her skin glowed from exertion, her hair a wild cloud on her head. Gorgeous, just fucking gorgeous.


"One more...just one more..." Too much...oh, God. Edward! Oh God, oh God, oh God.


Life puts them on a train and sends them on a ride. A ride that is fast and hot and hard. A ride that you’ll love and hate with equal passion. Why don’t I ever find that kind of train? 


Kris Salvador doesn’t put unnecessary words in her Ride. A story with a perfect balance of plot and smut. The best smut! We all were still screaming for more but when she was done, they were done. And it was perfectly done.


Now...wanna go for a ride?




Toye by Bratty Vamp
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5343457/1/Toye
Vampires like to play with their food. A campy and kitschy horror short-story that lets the men of the Cullen household be the monsters that Edward always claimed they were. Extremely OOC.

review by: Nita Skarr http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2015619/nitareality

It's a given in the fandom. When someone asks for a twisted, vampire, Darkward story, there's a standard list, and this question is inevitable. “Have you read Toye yet?”

I stumbled upon this classic back in my quieter, shyer lurker days. I had just started writing fanfiction, romance/humor of course. This story changed my life. Reading Toye for the first time was like receiving a permission slip to let my brain say what it really wanted to say, give life to the characters I really wanted to write about.

With Toye, Bratty Vamp introduces us to our two girls, Bella and Rosalie on spring break, traveling through the Olympic Peninsula in a heavy rain storm. After a collision, they're forced to walk the road to try to find help. Luckily, they spy a cabin in the woods and, assuming it's deserted and they could take shelter for the night, trudge down the dirt road that leads to it.

Imagine their surprise when they find that not only is the cabin not empty, but inhabited by two very attractive men, Jasper and Emmett. As Rose tells Bella, "What did I tell you about my lucky shoes?" Rosalie grinned. "Two sexy men in the middle of nowhere? What are the odds?" she asked.

The boys take the girls in, feeding them, sharing a beer with them. Nice guys, right? Things heat up between Rosalie and Emmett, and they head off to his room. Alone with Jasper, Bella quickly discovers that he is most certainly not a nice guy. Furthermore, when she wakes the next morning, her lesson begins; vampires most definitely like to play with their food.

The horror begins as Bella, unable to do anything, watches the two vampires playing their games, forcing her to participate, as she clings to her sanity. Edward does show eventually, and he's quite unlike his brothers. I won't go further into the story, you deserve to see it unfold on your own.

Bratty Vamp's characterizations are fantastically disturbing. Jasper is downright scary, and Emmett is unlike any other I've read, taunting and malicious. Even Carlisle is creepy. She plays with our emotions, giving us hope and snatching it back.

She uses just enough detail to describe the scenes thoroughly, without overwhelming you with gore. You can see, smell, hear, and almost feel everything that Bella experiences. She really gets you into Bella's head, her hysteria, her despair.

To call this suspenseful would be an understatement. She winds you up, you're tense until the very last scene. It's horror, and it's not for the faint of heart, but the gore is moderate. The real terror here is psychological. It's masterfully written, and in my opinion, one of the best examples of this genre in Twilight fanfiction.

Complete at only seven chapters, it's a quick read. For fans of the genre, I promise you won't want to put this down once you start it. Even if this isn't your usual fare, take the risk; it's such a well written story, I really encourage you to read it.

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